Life is full of ups and downs… especially for fans of the NFL.

Both of my teams played squeakers today. The Giants pulled out an amazing win over a game Redskins squad in the last minute of play (Eli! Cruuuuuuuuz!!!), while the Jets lost a heartbreaker to Evil Little Bill and hated Patriots in overtime. The morning game left me flying incredibly high, the afternoon game felt like someone had kicked me in the balls. And all I was doing was sitting in my Chair o’ Sloth in the TV room. It is kind of strange how these contests engage one’s emotions, even if you have nothing personally at stake. But that’s the life of a sports fan.

Even though the Giants won the Superbowl last season, they managed to lose both contests to the Redskins, a team that has been the perennial doormat of the NFC East ever since the franchise was purchased by Dan Snyder (read Jerry Jones, but shorter), so I sat down to watch today’s game with a certain amount of trepidation. Well justified trepidation, as it turns out. Washington has added a pair of stellar rookies to their squad since last season. Their highly-drafted and much-touted rookie QB, Robert Griffin III, proved to be all that the talking heads claimed he was and more. He gave Big Blue’s D fits all day, both with his running and his passing. And the Skin’s sixth-round rookie RB, Alfred Morris, was if anything even more impressive. He looks to be just the kind of hard-nosed between-the-tackle cruncher that I love… when he is on my team. I have a feeling that Washington’s days finishing fourth in the NFC East may be drawing to an end. Barring something unforeseen, I fear that RG3 and Morris will be giving my Giants fits for years to come.

Today, though… well, despite some great play from both of the Redskins rookies, Big Blue played solid football, and late in the fourth quarter had a lead. When RG3 fumbled with five minutes left to play, and the Giants recovered, the game seemed safely in hand. All the Giants had to do at that point was turn to their own running game, hammer the ball down the field with Brown and Bradshaw, burn up the clock, maybe add a clinching field goal.

Instead, inexplicably, the Giants called a pass on first down, and Eli threw a truly terrible interception, giving the ball right back to Washington. RG3 promptly took advantage by driving the Skins down the field for the FG to narrow the gap. The Giants got the ball back again, still with a lead, though a smaller one. “Okay,” I think, “THIS time we’ll pound them for sure, burn up that clock, ice the win.” But no, we came out passing again on first down, and that turned into a three-and-out. By which point I was yelling at the screen. What the hell was Gilbride thinking? I still don’t know. And sure enough, given the ball back once again, this time Griffin engineered a touchdown drive. Now the Skins were ahead, and I was sick to my stomach. We had blown the game with a mystifying series of play calls.

Griffin made one mistake, though. He scored too quickly, which meant Eli got the ball back again with a minute and a half left. That’s way too much time to give Eli. I believe it took him all of four seconds to find a streaking Victor Cruz (CRUUUUUUZZZZZZZZ) and drop the ball into his hands for a game-winning seventy yard TD. Cruz is amazing. Eli is amazing.

Kevin Gilbride I’m not so sure about. I hope someone asks him, “What the hell were you thinking.”

In conclusion… WHEW. Confusion, trepidation, fear, despair, elation… only the NFL.

The Giants are now 5-2, in sole possession of first in the NFC East.

But then came the afternoon, and the Jets game.

Sigh.

What can I say? It was the Patriots, our archenemies, led by the Great Satan himself. And this year’s Jets are the walking wounded, with our best players on both sides of the ball gone for the season. I went into this one fearing a blowout. The game began promisingly enough. Gang Green’s D stopped the Patriots, after which our O took over and drove downfield for a TD. Jets lead, 7-0. For a few seconds, till the Patriots broke the ensuing kickoff to tie it up, then took the lead with another TD, tacked on a safety when Marc Sanchez kicked the ball out of the endzone on a fumble, and…

The rest of the first half was pretty grim. The Patriots dominated, and the Jets O could not get anything going. Our D was playing well, though, stiffening up whenever the Pats got deep into our territory. And somehow the score stayed reasonably close. And then, come the fourth quarter, miracle of miracles, the Jets started coming back. Tough D stifled Brady, we got a few breaks, Sanchez started playing well… and holy hell… a FUMBLE, and suddenly we have the lead with barely a minute and a half left.

Alas. Too much time. The Jets made the same mistake the Skins did. You can’t give Brady that much time… and if you do, you CERTAINLY can’t start rushing three and falling back into a soft prevent defense. Brady, of course, shredded that scheme, took the Pats right down the field, and they kicked the tying FG with seconds left. Overtime.

We lost the coin toss. The rest… ah, the rest was painful. A Pats field goal and a Sanchez fumble ended it. Like a knife through the eye. A hideous way to lose a hard-fought game.

So there it is. Another Sunday in the National Football League.

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Life is magical and filled with joy.

NEW YORK JETS 35
INDIANAPOLIS COLTS 9

NEW YORK GIANTS 26
SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS 3

The Jets game was even more one-sided than the final score would indicate. Indy’s rookie phenom Andrew Luck looked every inch a rookie this morning, and not the least bit lucky. Gang Green should actually have posted two more TDs, but two terrific pick sixs by Antonio Cromartie were called back by bogus penalty calls. (It is almost enough to make one want the replacement refs back. Almost). Mark Sanchez only passed for 82 yards, but that was more than enough, since Shonn Greene was rushing for 161 and the New York D was playing lights out. Ground and pound offense and stifling D… that was the formula that got the Jets to two successive AFC championship games. Nice to see it back again. Impressive as Greene’s running was, the real hero of this game was Cromartie, who has really stepped up his game since Darrell Revis went down for the season. Gang Green STILL has a shutdown corner, it would seem. I was also thrilled to hear the announcers mention the name “Quinton Coples” several times. Maybe the Jets first round draft choice is not the second coming of Vernon Gholston after all.

The Giants started pretty slowly out in the City By The Bay, sandwiching in a sad little three-and-out between two long Niners drives in the first quarter. But the defense stiffened towards the end of both those drives, so all that San Francisco had to show for them was one field goal. And then Eli and the O woke up, and the rest of the game was Big Blue all the way. The Giants D line harassed Alex Smith relentlessly, sacking him six times and intercepting him thrice. Two of those INTs were by safety Antrell Rolle, the game’s defensive standout. And for the second week in a row, New York’s running game was fearsome. All the commentators and analysts agreed, no one could run on San Francisco, but Ahmed Bradshaw punched holes through their line time and time again, becoming the first back to run for 100 yards against them in their last upmty-ump (23, I think it might have been) games and scoring the first running TD against them all season. And Giants rookie David Wilson gashed them for several big runs as well. As for the Niners O, the Giant D made QB Alex Smith look like the Alex Smith of two years ago, not this year’s Alex Smith. All told, a very impressive, dominating win that left the G-Men atop the NFC East.

And then, just to put some nice fat cherries atop my Sunday sundae, the Cowboys, the Patriots, and the Eagles all lost horribly in the final seconds of their own respective contests. Oh, yes yes yes, the gods are good, the sun is shining over New York City, and all the pretty girls are blowing me kisses…

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… full of ups and downs, isn’t it?

The good thing about having two teams to root for in the NFL is that it greatly decreases the number of Sundays where you feel like pounding your head against the wall until your brains dribble out of your nose. Even if one team gets spanked, the other may win.

Last week it was the Giants who looked terrible in losing to the Cowboys, and the Jets who looked like world beaters in crushing the Bills.

This week, just the reverse.

Not much to say about the Jets loss in Pittsburgh. The Steelers are a damn good team, and they have always seemed to have Gang Green’s number, at least since… well, forever. As sharp as Sanchez looked last week, this week he looked awful. His wideouts did not help much either. I lost count of how many balls I saw bouncing off Santonio Holmes. Kerley and The New Guy were non-existant. If this is the best we have at wideout, we need to resign Plaxico Burress tomorrow. Plax was always good for six down in the red zone. Our run game… well, it was unimpressive when Shonn Greene was running, and worse when he came out. And our vaunted Jets D is much MUCH less impressive without Darrell Revis. Where’s the pass rush? Our big round one draft choice DE so far is doing an amazing impersonation of Vernon Gholston.

The Jets better show up next week and kick some Dolphin ass. If they lose that one, they could well be looking at 1-4, since they have the 49ers and the Texans the following two weeks, and the team I saw today won’t stand a chance against either of those squads.

Thank the gods, old and new, I have my New York Giants too. Now THAT was a hell of a game. Not that the early action did not prompt a little head-banging, what with Eli tossing those three interceptions and all. That sound you heard was me, screaming, but Parris waved her magic Giants blanket and kept the faith, and in the fourth quarter Eli came roaring back… and how. Threw for something like 510 yards, I believe, which like the ninth best total ever for any QB in the history of the league, or something. From two touchdowns down, the G-men rallied to tie it up (with a 2 point conversion at the end, the real miracle, we NEVER make 2 point coversions), then went ahead by a TD… and then had Josh Freeman and the Bucs come right back and tie it up again with a touchdown of their own…

But they scored too quickly, and left Eli almost two minutes. That’s ALWAYS a mistake. Just ask the New England Patriots. So Manning just drove them back down and did it all over again, scoring another go-ahead TD.

An incredible performance by Eli, and by his two favorite targets, Hakeem Nicks and Victor Cruz. Both were sensational today. Victor more than made up for all those drops last week against Dallas with 11 receptions for 199 yards, including an 80 yard TD that he dedicated to his grandmother, who passed away this week. Even with totals like that, he only had the second-best day among the Giants wideouts, since Hakeem Nicks racked up 10 catches for 199, despite coming into the game with an injured foot and then having his ankle stepped on so badly that he was limping and hobbling all through the last quarter. It was a great gutsy performance by Hakeem, who gave Bucs QB Aqib Talib a real schooling.

Some kudos are also due Giants TE Marcellus Bennett, who came through a great clutch TD catch after letting a couple of previous TD tosses from Eli bounce off his hands. If he’d caught all three, the game might never have been in doubt. Bennett has been inconsistent so far, but he certainly flashes plenty of talent. If he starts showing it every play, he could be a hell of an addition to the offense.

Also, the G-men seem to have found a terrific backup RB in Andre Brown, who has been on the team for three years and never done a thing… but today Ahmed Bradshaw went out early with a neck injury (hope it is not serious, Ahmed’s a favorite) and Brown came in and ran all over the Bucs. Suddenly Big Blue’s run game was the smashmouth style I remember from days of yore. Brown also had the wits to go down on the one yard line when the Bucs were trying to let him score at the end of the game. Nice to see that too. I hope to see more of Brown in the weeks to come, he could well be the complement to Bradshaw that we need, a new younger version of Brandon Jacobs, running hard right up the middle.

Speaking of the end of the game, though… one hates to pile on, but damn, that was a bush league move that the new Bucs coach pulled at the end of the game, having his line smashing into the Giants when Eli was kneeling down to run out the clock. Good way to injure someone. Yeah, I know you came from college, but this is the NFL. Game’s over, guy. Deal with it. It may have been legal, sure, but it was classless. And if you keep doing stuff like that, you may be headed back to college sooner than you’d like.

Anyway… we won one, we lost one. Just like Hugo night. Seems to be a theme of late.

Oh, and the Pats and Cowboys lost. Icing on my Big Blue cake.

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Shows you how much the preseason is worth.

After scoring only one-count’em-one touchdown in four pre-season games, the offense of the New York Jets woke up this morning, just in time for the season opener, and solidly stomped the Buffalo Bills, 48-28. And believe me, the game wasn’t nearly as close as the score.

Bills quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick helped a great deal, tossing three interceptions to the boys in the white and green. Fitzpatrick throws at Darrelle Revis more than any other QB in the league, and today Revis made him pay. He did not fare much better throwing at the other Jets defenders either.

And the Buffalo defense, supposedly much improved in the off-season, showed nothing at all. The Jets finally got rid of Wayne Hunter, the weak spot on their O line, replacing him with a guy off the practice squad… and practice squad guy, whose name I have already forgotten, shut down Mario Williams all day, never letting him get even a sniff of Mark Sanchez. So Super Mario was a bust, for this game at least, and Buffalo’s star RB Fred Jackson went down with a leg injury early in the contest. His replacement, C.J. Spiller, was the lone bright spot for Buffalo, ripping through the Jets’ D-line time after time for long runs. Good on him, bad on us: we better shut down that next week. In a closer game, letting the opponent run on you like that could be fatal.

Rex Ryan finally unveiled the “wildjet” formation that he’s been hiding all preseason. Well, okay. Having both Sanchez and Tebow on the field together didn’t seem to produce much. I am dubious about whether or not this shuttling them in and out will work for long, but we’ll see. Today was all Sanchez. He looked very sharp, especially throwing to our rookie WR Stephen Hill and some tight end named Cumberland who we must have picked up when I wasn’t looking. Hill was our 2nd round draft pick, and looks like a keeper. Our first round draft pick, DE Quinton Coples, was only heard from when drawing a roughing the passer penalty… but hey, it was his first game.

I wonder if Rex has a play in that playbook where Tebow as QB throws to Sanchez as WR. We saw the flip side of that today, for a couple yards, but Tebow-to-Sanchez would be the eye opener. A guy who can’t throw throwing to a guy who can’t catch. Opponents will never expect it. (Though, if the other teams keep smacking around Sanchez when he lines up as WR the way the Bills did today, he may think twice about staying in when Tebow is under center).

So… a convincing win, and a nice way to start the season. Let’s see where it goes from here. As for my friends in Buffalo, I fear you may be in for another long season. But please do beat the Patriots for us, it would be much appreciated.

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Well, the 2012 NFL season got off to a start with a resounding thud tonight, as my beloved New York Football Giants lost their opening game to the hated Dallas Cowboys.

The key factor seemed to be the depleted New York secondary, which wasn’t able to cope with Dallas’s third-string wide receiver… especially after our fourth-string cornerback went down and had to be replaced by our fifth-string cornerback.

How the hell our secondary can be down to its fifth string in the first bloody game of the season passes all understanding. I know that injuries are a big part of football, but the Giants always seem to suffer a rash of losses before the season even begins. sigh

Victor Cruz dropping all those passes did not help either. I love you, Victor… but maybe less salsa dancing and more practice in the off-season would have been wise.

Big Blue’s running game looked just as anemic as it did last season. Our vaunted first round draft choice, Virginia Tech RB David Wilson, fumbled the first time he touched the damn ball. Coughlin did not seem eager for him to touch it again thereafter.

Perhaps the Jets will redeem things on Sunday, when Rex finally unveils the explosive O he has been hiding all preseason. (Hah)

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Giants tight end Jake Ballard played well all season, until he tore his ACL in the Super Bowl. It was a serious injury, requiring surgery. Recovery is lengthy, and Ballard will not be able to play at all in 2012. He is going to miss the entire season. So the Giants put him on waivers. I mean, who is going to claim a player who can’t play? Once he cleared waivers, Jake could be put on the Reserved/ PUP list (Physically Unable to Perform). He’d still be Giant, and come 2013, presumably he would be healthy again and able to return to the team.

That’s what the Giants wanted. That’s what Jake wanted.

But he didn’t clear waivers. He was claimed by another team. To the astonishment of all.

Who would do such a thing, you ask?

Who else? The New England Patriots.

Stuff like this is why we call him Evil Little Bill.

The Giants are pissed. Ballard is reportedly pretty unhappy as well. Evil Little Bill says what he did was legal (it was, completely), that there are no “unwritten rules” (there are, that’s wrong, but hell, Bill breaks WRITTEN rules, as in Spygate, so of course he doesn’t believe in unwritten ones, or things like, oh, sportsmanship).

The Patriots don’t even need a tight end. They already have the best tight end tandem in the NFL in Gronkowski and Hernandez, both of whom are actually better than Jake Ballard. This move screws the Giants, but it also screws Ballard, who would have been a starter on the Giants when he came back in 2013. On the Pats, he’ll warm the bench and play in some three tight end sets.

Have you no shame, Evil Little Bill?

Boo. Hiss. Boo.

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Very sad news today: the death, seemingly by suicide, of Junior Seau, one of the all time greats of American football.

Junior never played for any of my teams… but he always played hard, with as much joy as ferocity. He was still a young man, only recently retired, and in a couple more years he is sure to be inducted into the Hall of Fame.

It’s a sad day for all football fans.

Rest in peace, Junior.

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Obviously, I should never go on long trips just before the NFL draft. I was woefully unprepared this year, having barely glanced at the stack of pre-draft magazines I always buy, and I’d hardly seen any mock drafts at all.

And I fear, without the help of my telepathic advice from Santa Fe, that Rex Ryan and Mike Tannenbaum may have made a terrible mistake. I am not at all happy with their choice of Quinton Coples. Yes, we needed a pass rusher, sure… but there were a lot of them on the board when the Jets turn arrived at 16, so I cannot understand why they chose a kid that all the draftniks seem to agree is a physically gifted underachiever who gives minimum effort and does not really love the game. Coples has Vernon Gholston II written all over him.

And I fear that Evil Little Bill, picking later, got a much better prospect at a lower slot. Actually Evil Little Bill and the despised Pats got TWO terrific players, who will vastly improve the Pats D (of course, bad as it was, there was no place to go but up). How does he DO that, year after year? A Satanic pact, methinks…

The Giants, picking last in the round, had fewer great options, and ended up choosing a running back. Well, okay… with Big Brandon gone, we need a new RB to spell Ahmad. This Wilson guy has blazing speed and is very elusive, they say. That’s good. Maybe he can return punts and kickoffs. The G-Men have sucked at both for the past couple of years. On the other hand, they also say he fumbles a lot. That’s less good. I have to hope Tom Coughlin can fix his fumbling, the same way he once fixed Tiki Barber’s.

Cleveland had a good first round, I think. Miami picked their latest QB bust, by all reports. And reached for him as well. From everything I read about this Tannehill kid, they will do better sticking with Matt Moore.

Based on this single round, though, looks as though Belichick tightened the Pats grip on the AFC East for years to come. The Jets, Bills, and Dolphins did nothing to improve their teams, while the Pats got significently better on D. mutter mutter mutter

The Panthers got the player the Giants really needed.

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I was drinking my morning coffee when the headline flashed across the bottom of the screen. That sound you heard was me choking and sputtering.

My Jets have given up two perfectly good draft picks for Tim Tebow, the worst quarterback in the National Football League.

Gak.

What the hell are they thinking over there at Gang Green central?

Mark Sanchez is not, as yet, Eli Manning, but he is a talented quarterback with a good arm and he completes more than fifty per cent of his passes, none of which can be said for Tebow. The last thing he needs is a stadium full of Timomaniacs screaming for Tebow every time a pass falls incomplete. The divisions in the Jets locker room last season were well documented. THis is just going to make those problems a thousand times worse.

Nor do I think that Tebow’s conspicuous piety will play well in the Big Apple. This is the city that once embraced Broadway Joe. Tebow would fit better in… well, if Branson, Missouri had an NFL team, that would be a perfect fit.

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