Current Mood: contemplative
I grow old… I grow old…
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.
Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
I do not think that they will sing to me.
((with thanks to T.S. Eliot))
Current Mood: melancholy
Way back when on LiveJournal, when I started this column or journal or whatever it is, I called it my “Not A Blog,” because I could see that regular blogging was a lot of work, and I didn’t think I had the time to devote to it. I was late on a book even then, though I do not recall which one. I figured I would just make posts from time to time, when I had an important announcement, when the mood struck me, whatever.
Somehow, though, over the decades, the Not A Blog became a blog, and what I had intended as a occasional pleasure and a way to stay in touch with my readers has become a Blog (ironically, at the same time as everyone else was abandoning their blogs for Facebook and Twitter), complete with a sense of obligation. And when a lot of stuff happens very fast, I fall further and further behind.
I am hugely behind right now, and the prospect of trying to catch up is feeling increasingly oppressive.
My life has become one of extremes these past few months. Some days I do not know whether to laugh or cry, to shoot off fireworks and dance in the streets or crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head. The good stuff that has been happening to me has been very very very good, the kind of thing that will make a year, or a career. But the bad stuff that is happening has been very very very bad, and it is hard to cherish the good and feel the joy when the shadows are all around.
If any of you read the stories about me on the internet, you will know my good news. I have a new five-year deal with HBO, to create new GOT successor shows (and some non-related series, like ROADMARKS) for both HBO and HBO Max. It’s an incredible deal, an amazing deal, very exciting, and I want to tell you all about it… although it seems the press has already done it. There are stories in all the trades. You can read about it there. (These days I almost never get to break any news about myself, the Hollywood press is always ahead of me. Some of their stories are even accurate). I will blog about it, I expect, but not today.
On the other side of the coin… well, I am now fully vaccinated, hurrah hurray, that’s good. However, I have now lost six friends since November. (Only a couple to Covid. Alas, I am old, and so are many of my friends. Valar morghulis, I guess). And a seventh friend, a very old and dear friend who has been a huge part of my life for a long time, is in the hospital, very sick, recovering from surgery… at least we hope he is recovering.
Honestly, it is hard to dance in the streets even for the deal of a lifetime when another loved one dies every two/ three weeks, and that has been going on for me since November, when my longtime editor Kay McCauley passed away.
There’s lots more going on as well. Meow Wolf stuff. Railroad stuff. Beastly Books has reopened, but the JCC is still shuttered. The Jets traded Sam Darnold away. I am going to be leaving my cabin in a couple of months. I am close to delivering PAIRING UP, a brand new Wild Cards book.
I will tell you about some of this, I guess. But not today.
Current Mood: tired
My dear friend Sibel Kekilli — Shae, for all you fans of HBO’s GAME OF THRONES — emailed me recently to alert me to some distressing news out of Turkey. (Sibel is German, born and raised in Germany, but of Turkish descent). Turkey, under the Erdogan regime, has officially withdrawn from the Istanbul convention that combats violence against women.
Here are the details:
Sibel herself has first hand knowledge of what it means to experience violence, and she has long been an advocate fighting violence against women all around the world. She is not only an amazing actress (she gave Shae a depth the character never had in my books), but a very brave woman, and a true hero. I admire her immensely for all she has done, and continues to do.
And I would like to echo her message to the women and girls of Turkey: Selam Ve Sevgiler.
Current Mood: determined
I got the first shot of Covid vaccine last week, I am relieved to report. The Moderna vaccine. Second shot scheduled for the end of the month.
Parris has also gotten her first shot.
That’s the good news.
And it does seem that we are finally turning the corner on the pandemic. We are not out of the woods yet, but I am cautiously hopeful.
The bad news, of course, is that I have lost five friends since November. Not all to Covid, though that was a factor in some of the deaths. Death is part of life, I know, it waits for all of us, valar morghulis and all that. Even so, this is too much too soon, and it has been hitting me hard. I have friends who struggle with depression, but I have never been prone to such myself… at least not the kind of depression that requires medication… but it is hard to stay upbeat and focused when you are suffering so many losses so close together, blow after blow after blow.
Fuck you, Grim Reaper. Stick that scythe up your arse and leave my loved ones alone.
Meanwhile, I do my best to lose myself in work.
Current Mood: angry