Not a Blog

A Few More Last Words

May 8, 2010 at 8:25 pm
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And one more thing…

All this debate about fan fiction, here and on Diana Gabaldon’s blog and Charlie Stross’s blog and ten or twenty or a hundred other places on the internet, has generated (I hope) a certain amount of light and (I know) an enormous amount of heat.

Why is that? I wonder. Why do both sides get so incensed about this issue?

There’s a lot been said about copyright and trademark and infringement and fair use and who has the right to make money off what, and all that’s well and good, valuable stuff, worth discussing and debating… but the fanfictioneers keep saying that it’s all about love, never about money, and as I ponder this, I think they’re right.

It is all about love.

On both sides.

Let’s forget about all the legal and financial issues here. We’ve discussed those to death. Let’s just talk about the emotions.

Here’s the thing. I think the fan fictioneers write about certain characters because they love them. And I think the writers who object to having their characters written about do so because they love them too. Which brings us back to the “my characters are my children” thing, which may be central.

Now, not all writers feel this way, certainly. Some will say, “Do whatever you want with my characters, I don’t care, so long as you don’t impinge on my ability to make a living. If you start f*cking with my income stream, I’ll shut you down. Elsewise, have fun.” Which is fine, if you share that view. But y’know, I don’t. I’ll never say something like that. I DO care what you do with my characters.

Fiction is fiction. It’s all made up. Dreams and visions made of word on paper. Every writer who isn’t insane knows that. Every reader too. But still…

When I was kid back in the 50s, I read a lot of comic books, including Superman books — SUPERMAN, ACTION, LOIS LANE, JIMMY OLSEN. At that time, those comics would occasionally publish what they called “Imaginary Stories.” Even as a kid, I knew that was a stupid name. I mean, ALL the stories were imaginary, weren’t they? Today we’d call them “What If” stories or “Alternate Universe” stories. They were stories outside the usual Superman continuity. “What If Krypton Never Blew Up” and “What If Superman and Lois Got Married,” stuff like that. Some of them were pretty good stories. Lots happened in them — more than ever happened in the “real” Superman stories of the 50s. Even so, they never completely engaged me. Because they weren’t REAL.

Of course, Superman himself wasn’t real. None of the stories were real. I knew that, even when I was eight years old. But there’s a contract between reader and writer. I’m telling you a story, trying to make it all as real as possible. And you, the reader, while you’re reading the story, you’re going to pretend that these people are real, that the events in the story actually did happen to them. Without that pretense, why would you care?

(Once, at a Milford Conference several decades ago, I got in a long and heated argument with two New Wave writers who put forward the proposition that since fiction is not real, it should not pretend to be real, that good fiction is all about the words, that stories should celebrate their “paperiness” the same way abstract art celebrates its two-dimensionality, as opposed to earlier styles of painting that tried to create the illusion of three dimensions. Maybe that’s why I have never liked abstract art. I certainly don’t like stories that celebrate their paperiness. I want the illusion. I want the stories and the characters to be as real as they can possibly be, at least during the time it takes me to read them. And maybe afterwards as well).

The imaginary stories were intellectually interesting, as “what if” stories, but they never engaged me on an emotional level. I knew, as I read them, that nothing in them really mattered. If Superman or one of his friends died, well, it was no big thing. They would be back next issue, unchanged. On the other hand, a few years later, when Gwen Stacy died, I was almost as devastated as Peter Parker. Gwen Stacy was real to me.

(Which is also, by the way, why I hate hate hate the retconning that has become so f*cking common in today’s comic books and films. It seems to me to be a breach of that unwritten contract between writer and reader. You told me that Peter Parker married Mary Jane, you had me read a decade’s worth of stories where they were man and wife, you never said they were imaginary stories, you claimed that this was what was really happening to Spidey in his real life… and now you turn around and tell me, no, not only are they not married, they were NEVER married, none of that actually happened, nyah nyah nyah, but keep buying our comic, now we’re going to tell you what really did happen. Sorry, no. Strike up the Who, I won’t get fooled again. I say it’s spinach and I say the hell with it).

As a reader (books, comics, whatever) and a viewer (television, film), I want characters I can care about, engage with, believe in. If I don’t find them in the work, I’m going to lose interest very quickly. If I do find them, though… well, even though I know such creations are just fictions, I will nonetheless begin to care very deeply.

F’rinstance, I have never seen the third ALIENS movie. I loved ALIEN and ALIENS, but when I read the early reviews of ALIENS 3, and learned that the new movie was going to open by killing Newt and… what was his name, the Michael Biehn character?… well, I was f*cking outraged. I never went to the film because I did not want that sh*t in my head. I had come to love Newt in the preceding movie, the whole damn film was about Ripley rescuing her, the end was deeply satisfying… and now some asshole was going to come along and piss all over that just to be shocking. I have never seen the subsequent Aliens films either, since they are all part of a fictional “reality” that I refuse to embrace. Not even the film with Ron Perlman in it, and Ron is a both a friend and an actor I greatly admire.

Thing is, it hasn’t worked. Though I’ve avoided seeing the films, the reviews I read still poisoned the well. I know too much about what happens in ALIENS 3. I know Newt dies. And just that little bit of knowledge has seriously crimped my ability to enjoy ALIENS itself. It’s still a fine, exciting film, but now when I get to the end, when Newt is climbing into the tube and asking Ripley if she’ll dream, instead of the frisson of emotional satisfaction that I used to get, the little teardrop at the corner of my eye, I remember, “F*ck, Newt has an alien inside her, she’s going to die,” and I get pissed off and sour all over again.

All over a character who does not exist, has never existed. I know that. It does not make the feelings any less strong.

And if I can feel that strongly about characters created by other people, can you possibly imagine how strongly I feel about my own characters?

That’s why I liken them to my children. I can care about Newt and Gwen Stacy and Frodo and Captain Ahab and the Great Gatsby and on and on… but I care about the Turtle and Abner Marsh and Tyrion Lannister and Jon Snow and Haviland Tuf and Daenerys and my own guys a thousand times more. They are my sons and daughters.

There are lots and lots and lots of people like me, I think. And it’s that which accounts for the emotional vehemence of these debates on fan fiction, on both sides.

The fan fictioneers fall in love with a character or characters, and want to make things come out right for them… or come out the way they want things to come out. I know that much of the old BEAUTY AND THE BEAST fanfic was posited on the basis of Catherine and Vincent consummating their relationship and living happily ever after, with occasional adventures. There was certainly a ton of it based on wiping away our entire third season; many B&B fans feel about Catherine’s death just as strongly as I feel about Newt’s. They want to undo it. I would strongly suspect that out there somewhere there must be ALIENS fanfic where Newt does NOT die horribly too. It’s love of the characters that prompts people to write these things. Hell, if I was ever hired to write a new ALIENS film, the first thing I would do would be to say, “Hey, remember how at the end of ALIENS Newt asks if she will dream? Well, she will. All the films from that moment have just been her bad dreams. We’ll open my new movie with Newt and Ripley waking up…” Which would be a sort of retconning, I know, which I just denounced. So sue me. Consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds. It would also be the most expensive fanfic in history, I guess. Too bad I’ll never get the chance.

But let’s turn it on its head, and look at the things from the writer’s perspective. As much as the fans may love our characters, we love them more. And suddenly we are confronted with stories in which other people are doing all sorts of things with our children… things we never envisioned, never authorized, and may even find stupid and/ or repugnant. Characters we killed come back to life. Living characters are killed. Villains are redeemed. Straight characters become gay. Romeo and Juliet don’t commit suicide, they survive and live happily ever after and have seventeen children.

Sure, we could shrug and say, “None of these things really happened. These stories are not canon. They’re just imaginary stories. They’re not REAL.” And I’m sure many writers do this. But I can’t. All legal and financial aspects aside, I don’t want to read your fanfic where Gatsby and Daisy run off together, and I certainly don’t want to read the ones where Gatsby runs off with Tom Buchanan, or the two of them and Daisy have a threesome, or Gatsby rapes and murders Daisy… and I’m pretty sure F. Scott Fitzgerald wouldn’t want to read ’em either. Now, plug in Jon Snow and Jay Ackroyd and Haviland Tuf and Daenerys Targaryen, or any of my characters, for Gatsby and Daisy and Tom, and I’m pretty sure that you can figure out my reaction.

It’s like with Newt. I don’t want those pictures in my head. Even if they’re nice pictures, if you love my characters and only do nice, sweet, happy things to them. You’re still messing around with my people. I won’t use any analogies here, I know how that upsets people… but there is a sense of violation.

It’s not rational, perhaps. These are all just made-up people. Words on paper. Who cares what happens to them? Let’s just all celebrate their paperiness.

But I’m not wired that way. And neither, I suspect, is Diana Gabaldon.

This has nothing to do with money or copyright or law. It’s a gut-level emotional reaction. And it’s all about love. On both sides.

Or to put it another way:

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A Few Last Words

May 8, 2010 at 2:58 pm
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I’ve just locked the comments section of the previous post. We’ve had about four hundred comments since the post went up last night, and the whole thing is about to collapse under its own weight. I suspect that someone or other has already said everything that can be said on the subject, so now we’re starting to go around in circles.

Also, with this many comments, it’s becoming obvious that some of the later commenters aren’t actually reading what went before. I’m starting to get asked the same questions over and over again — what about Suvudu? what about the Vance book? what about fan art? what about role-playing games? All fair enough questions, but I have answered all of them in responses to earlier comments. Some I have answered two or three times by now. I am not going to answer them four, five, six, or twelve times, sorry. So if you’ve posted a question that has already been asked and answered, your post will likely be ignored or deleted. (Yes, I know it’s a pain to have to read four hundred comments. Tough. If I have to read them all, so do you. That’s the price of taking part in the discussion).

Some comments haven’t been unscreened yet. There have been so many of them coming in so fast that it has been hard to keep up. A few have been buried by now, especially comments on comments on comments. Ty or I will get to all of them eventually, I hope, and everything will either be unscreened or deleted.

I want to thank ninety-five percent of the people who took the time to comment. I appreciate your thoughts, and even more, I appreciate the relative calm and thoughtful tone of this discussion, which never degenerated into the kind of ugliness I’ve seen (and am still seeing) in the comments over on Diana Gabaldon’s blog, where the discussion has long since been derailed. I don’t know how many minds were changed here, but all the major issues were thoroughly aired, it seems to me, and I hope this generated more light than heat.

There were a few issues raised during the debate that I’d like to address a bit further.

A number of commenters suggested that I was wrong in my assertion that copyrights need to be defended, and suggested that I was confusing copyrights with trademarks. Perhaps so. This was raised often enough that it is obviously something I need to look into further. There were also posters who agreed with what I wrote, however, including some who identified themselves as lawyers or law students, so I don’t think the issue is as clear cut as the “trademark” folks are claiming. I’ll investigate this, and if I was wrong about this, I will come back here and say so (eventually, this is not my top priority in life). If I was right, I’ll come back and mention that as well.

ERB v HPL. I never said that allowing others to play with the Cthulhu mythos was the ONLY reason Lovecraft died in poverty. Actually, I am a huge Lovecraft fan, and not much of a Burroughs fan at all (though Melinda Snodgrass and I did once work on the screenplay for A PRINCESS OF MARS). I know a lot about HPL. His work has been hugely iuential on modern horror. But my point stands. I could write a Cthulhu Mythos novel tomorrow, and I would not have to pay a dime to any Lovecraft estate (if such exists) or get their permission. I would never dare write a Barsoom novel, though surely PRINCESS is in the public domain by now. (The later John Carter and Tarzan novels may still be under copyright).

A few people have quoted or posted links to the other side of the Marion Zimmer Bradley incident, the account of the fan involved. Fine, two sides to every story, check it out. At this point, twenty years after the fact, it all becomes she said/ she said. But the version I posted was hardly “urban legend,” as one commenter called it. It was the version given by Marion Zimmer Bradley herself in SFWA FORUM, what she told the rest of the writing community. If you want to believe she lied, well, that’s your prerogative.

More thoughts as I have ’em. Just now, I have work to do.

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Someone Is Angry On the Internet

May 7, 2010 at 7:35 pm
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My position on so-called “fan fiction” is pretty well known. I’m against it, for a variety of reasons that I’ve stated previously more than once. I won’t repeat ’em here.

My position is not unique. It is not universal either, I realize. Some writers actually encourage fan fiction (I know some of them, have heard their arguments), others don’t seem to care one way or another (I know many of those). Many writers have no idea that it exists, no concept of what it is (in part because of the confusing term “fan fiction,” which subject I will return to later), and have given the subject no thought. So there’s a wide range of opinion on this matter, even among writers.

There are lots of us who oppose fan fiction, though. One such is my friend Diana Gabaldon, author of the mega-bestselling OUTLANDER series… and the occasional terrific short story and novella, some of which Gardner Dozois and I have been privileged to publish in our anthologies. Diana recently outlined her own feelings about fan fiction — especially fan fiction involving her own world and characters — in a series of posts on her blog:

http://voyagesoftheartemis.blogspot.com/

Subsequent to Diana’s first post, all hell broke loose. (As it seems to do more and more often on this “interweb” thingie). A thousand comments on her first two blog posts on the subject. It’s all there, for those who want to check out the “debate.” Which soon, alas, became heated, as hundreds of… what’s the correct term here? fanficcers? fan fictioneers? fans of fanfic? defenders of fanfic?… arrived from all over the internet to take issue with Diana. A good number of them seemed to open their posts with variations on ‘I don’t know who you are and I’ve never read your books and I’ve never visited this blog before, but I’ve come by specially to lambast you.’

Sigh.

I have a colorful metaphor in mind to describe what this reminds me of, but I won’t use it. Metaphors seemed to spark much of the outrage here. Writers have a natural prediliction for the colorful phrase, the striking comparison, but in political discussions — and this is, at base, a political discussion — that can lead to hyperbole, which can lead to anger.

So let me try to eschew all that and remain calm.

I am not going to rehash the arguments for and against “fan fiction.” If you want to read those, go to Diana’s blog. In between the shouting and the abuse and the endless restatement of the same three or four points by several hundred different posters, there’s actually some fairly cogent posts on both sides, arguing the pros and cons of the issue.

I would like to say a couple of things that I don’t think anyone else covered, however (and yes, I read all thousand-plus comments, though admittedly I skimmed some that just seemed to be more of the same).

As I said, my reasons for opposing fan fiction have been stated in the past. They are more-or-less the same reasons as those cited by Diana Gabaldon, and pretty much the same reasons that would given by any writer who shares our viewpoint on the matter. So I won’t repeat them here. But I’ll add a few thoughts.

One of the things I mislike about fan fiction is its NAME. Truth is, I wrote fan fiction myself. That was how I began, when I was a kid in high school writing for the dittoed comic fanzines of the early 1960s. In those days, however, the term did not mean “fiction set in someone else’s universe using someone else’s characters.” It simply meant “stories written by fans for fans, amateur fiction published in fanzines.” Comic fandom was in its infancy then, and most of us who started it were kids… some of whom did make the mistake of publishing amateur fan-written stories about Batman or the Fantastic Four in their ‘zines. National (what we called DC back then) and Marvel shut those down pretty quickly.

The rest of us knew better. Including me. I was a fan, an amateur, writing stories out of love just like today’s fan fictioneers… but it never dawned on me to write about the JLA or the Fantastic Four or Spider-Man, much as I loved them. I invented my own characters, and wrote about those. Garizan, the Mechanical Warrior. Manta Ray. The White Raider. When Howard Keltner, one of the editors and publishers of STAR-STUDDED COMICS, the leading fanzine of its day, invited me to write about two of his creations, Powerman and Dr. Weird, I leapt at the chance… but only with Howard’s express invitation and permission.

So that’s the sort of fan fiction I wrote. How and when the term began to be used for what is called fan fiction today, I don’t know. I wish there was another term for that, though I confess I cannot think of one that isn’t either cumbersome, vague, or prejorative. But it does bother me that people hear I wrote fan fiction, and take that to mean I wrote stories about characters taken from the work of other writers without their consent.

Consent, for me, is the heart of this issue. If a writer wants to allow or even encourage others to use their worlds and characters, that’s fine. Their call. If a writer would prefer not to allow that… well, I think their wishes should be respected.

Myself, I think the writers who allow fan fiction are making a mistake. I am not saying here that the people who write fan fiction are evil or immoral or untrustworthy. The vast majority of them are honest and sincere and passionate about whatever work they chose to base their fictions on, and have only the best of intentions for the original author. But (1) there are always a few, in any group, who are perhaps less wonderful, and (2) this door, once opened, can be very difficult to close again.

Most of us laboring in the genres of science fiction and fantasy (but perhaps not Diana Gabaldon, who comes from outside SF and thus may not be familiar with the case I am about to cite) had a lesson in the dangers of permitting fan fiction a couple of decades back, courtesy of Marion Zimmer Bradley. MZB had been an author who not only allowed fan fiction based on her Darkover series, but actively encouraged it… even read and critiqued the stories of her fans. All was happiness and joy, until one day she encountered in one such fan story an idea similar to one she was using in her current Darkover novel-in-progress. MZB wrote to the fan, explained the situation, even offered a token payment and an acknowledgement in the book. The fan replied that she wanted full co-authorship of said book, and half the money, or she would sue. MZB scrapped the novel instead, rather than risk a lawsuit. She also stopped encouraging and reading fan fiction, and wrote an account of this incident for the SFWA FORUM to warn other writers of the potential pitfalls of same.

That was twenty years ago or thereabouts, but that episode had a profound effect on me and, I suspect, on many other SF and fantasy writers of my generation.

Okay, it was one incident a long time ago, you may say. Fair enough. Let me bring up a couple other writers, then. Contemporaries of an earlier age, each of whom was known by a set of initials: ERB and HPL. ERB created Tarzan and John Carter of Mars. HPL created Cthulhu and his Mythos. ERB, and later his estate, was extremely protective of his creations. Try to use Tarzan, or even an ape man who was suspiciously similar to Tarzan, without his/ their permission, and their lawyers would famously descend on you like a ton of bricks. HPL was the complete opposite. The Cthulhu Mythos soon turned into one of our genres first shared worlds. HPL encouraged writer friends like Robert Bloch and Clark Ashton Smith to borrow elements from his Cuthulhu Mythos, and to add elements as well, which HPL himself would borrow in turn. And in time, other writers who were NOT friends of HPL also began to write Cthulhu Mythos stories, which continues to this day.

Fair enough. Two writers, two different decisions.

Thing is, ERB died a millionaire many times over, living on a gigantic ranch in a town that was named Tarzana after his creation. HPL lived and died in genteel poverty, and some biographers have suggested that poor diet brought on by poverty may have hastened his death. HPL was a far more beloved figure amongst other writers, but love will only get you so far. Sometimes it’s nice to be able to have a steak too. The Burroughs estate was paid handsomely for every Tarzan movie ever made, and collected plenty on the PRINCESS OF MARS movie I worked on during my Hollywood years, and no doubt is still collecting on the one currently in development… though the book is in the public domain by now. Did the Lovecraft estate make a penny off THE DUNWICH HORROR movie, the HERBERT WEST, REANIMATOR movie, the recent DAGON movie, the internet version of CALL OF CTHULHU? I don’t know. I rather doubt it. If they did, I’ll betcha it was just chump change. Meanwhile, new writers go right on mining the Cthulhu mythos, writing new stories and novels.

Cthulhu, like John Carter, is in the public domain by now, I know. But it wouldn’t matter. Because HPL let so many others play in his sandbox, he essentially lost control of his own creations. That’s what I mean by (2), above. The fan fiction door, once opened, is hard to close again.

A writer’s creations are his livelihood. Those copyrights are ultimately all that separates an ERB from a HPL. Is it any wonder that most writers are so protective of them?

Those of us, like Diana Galabdon and myself, who prefer not to allow fan fictioners to use our worlds and characters are not doing it just to be mean. We are doing it to protect ourselves and our creations.

Furthermore, we HAVE to do it. That’s something no one addressed, in those thousand comments about Diana’s blog. There was a lot of talk about copyright, and whether or not fan fiction was illegal, whether it was fair use (it is NOT fair use, by the way, not as I understand the term, and I have a certain familiarity with what is and isn’t fair use thanks to my own experiences with THE ARMAGEDDON RAG), but no one mentioned one crucial aspect of copyright law — a copyright MUST BE DEFENDED. If someone infringes on your copyright, and you are aware of the infringement, and you do not defend your copyright, the law assumes that you have abandoned it. Once you have done that, anyone can do whatever the hell they want with your stuff. If I let Peter and Paul and Nancy publish their Ice & Fire fanfics, and say nothing, then I have no ground to stand on when Bill B. Hack and Ripoff Publishing decide they will publish an Ice & Fire novel and make some bucks. Peter and Paul and Nancy may be the nicest people in the world, motivated only by sincere love of my world and characters, but Bill B. Hack and Ripoff don’t give a damn. They just want the bucks.

Once you open that door, you can’t control who might come in.

No one would ever do that, I hear someone muttering in the back. Hoo hah. The history of publishing is full of such cases. Even the famously and fiercely litigious ERB estate was famously victimized back in the 60s, when someone forget to timely renew the copyright on a Tarzan book, and a bottom rung comic company noticed and promptly started up a completely unauthorized (and unpaid for) Tarzan comic.

Those are some of the reasons writers like me will not permit fanfic, but before I close, let me put aside the legal and financial aspects of all this for a moment, and talk about more personal ones. Here, I think, Diana Gabaldon absolutely hit the nail on the head in the latest of her blog posts on the subject. And here, she and I agree completely. Many years ago, I won a Nebula for a story called “Portraits of His Children,” which was all about a writer’s relationship with the characters he creates. I don’t have any actual children, myself (Diana does). My characters are my children, I have been heard to say. I don’t want people making off with them, thank you. Even people who say they love my children. I’m sure that’s true, I don’t doubt the sincerity of the affection, but still…

I have sometimes allowed other writers to play with my children. In Wild Cards, for instance, which is a shared world. Lohengrin, Hoodoo Mama, Popinjay, the Turtle, and all my other WC creations have been written by other writers, and I have written their characters. But I submit, this is NOT at all the same thing. A shared world is a tightly controlled environment. In the case of Wild Cards, it’s controlled by me. I decide who gets to borrow my creations, and I review their stories, and approve or disapproval what is done with them. “No, Popinjay would say it this way,” I say, or “Sorry, the Turtle would never do that,” or, more importantly (this has never come up in Wild Cards, but it did in some other shared worlds), “No, absolutely not, your character may not rape my character, I don’t give a fuck how powerful you think it would be.”

And that’s Wild Cards. A world and characters created to be shared. It’s not at all the same with Ice & Fire. No one gets to abuse the people of Westeros but me.

Anyway…

I have gone on longer than I intended, but I think this is important stuff. “Fan fiction” — or whatever you want to call it — has been around for a long time, but never like now. The internet has changed everything. Whereas before the fanfic might be published in obscure fanzines with a circulation of a hundred, now tens of thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands, can read these… well, let’s just call them “unauthorized derivative works.” (Except in cases where the writer has authorized ’em, which I suppose would be “authorized derivative works.”) More than ever, we need some boundaries here.

I salute Diana Gabaldon for opening the debate.

And now I step back, and await the onslaught.

(But a word of warning. I’m not nearly as nice a person as Diana is, and this Not A Blog is screened and monitored by my assistant Ty. Diana was willing to let everything go in her comments section. I’m not. So — my roof, my rules. Disagree, if you want. Disagree vigorously. Argue your points. But no name-calling, no abuse, no threats. And you can spare me the “I have never read any of your books, but now I’m not going to, and I’m going to tell all my friends not to read your books either” posts as well. Fine, you just want to read books by authors who support fan fiction, go ahead, do that, there are a number of very fine writers in that group, we don’t need to hear about it here. No derailing the discussion, please. Let’s talk about the issue, not tone. I’d love to see some rational discourse here, thanks).

(And yes, the title of this post is a reference to the classic xkcd cartoon that can be seen here: http://xkcd.com/386/)

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Joe Should Go

May 7, 2010 at 4:45 pm
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I wish I was a United States Senator, so I could introduce a bill to strip Joe Lieberman of his American citizenship.

You know, Golden Rule and all that. Sauce for the goose, sauce for the gander. What goes around comes around.

Joe Lieberman = Al Gore’s Biggest Mistake.

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More Odds, More Ends

May 7, 2010 at 2:08 am
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Lots of stuff going on that I’ve been meaning to post about… but there’s lots of stuff going on, so I haven’t had the time.

Stuff stirring on the comic book front, but I can’t talk about that yet. Maybe in a couple months. Maybe sooner. Maybe both.

Cool stuff coming in from Cyanide Studios on the videogame too. Can’t share that either. Sorry, sorry.

Melinda and I caught the Swedish film of THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO a couple nights ago at the Screen. Highly recommended. I want to talk about this in detail on my website, on my long neglected “What I’m Watching” page, but, alas, I probably won’t. Suffice it to say it was a very faithful adaptation of an excellent novel. I consumed all three of the Stieg Larsson novels (the last when I was in Ireland last year to watch the pilot filmed) and found them terrific reads, but they’re quite graphic, and I was worried about how they’d translate to film. Very well indeed, as it happens. At least for this version. (I shudder to think what the rumored big budget Hollywood remake will be like. For starts, they will probably move the whole thing from Sweden to California). Lisbeth Salander is a terrific character, and Noomi Rapace does a superb job of portraying her. (Hollywood, I fear, will soften the character and make her more “likeable,” which will ruin her utterly). Anyway, see this. And read the Larsson books, if you haven’t done so already.

On the “guilty pleasures” front, I have been meaning to confess how much I enjoy DEADLIEST WARRIOR on Spike. All those gel torsos and pig carcasses, what’s not to like? The second season just started here. Not as cool as the first so far, but still pretty cool. Given my predilictions, I like the episodes featuring ancient warriors better than the modern ones. And I still say the Knight was robbed. He was the only pre-gunpowder warrior who had to go up against an opponent with firearms. Not fair. And DEADLIEST WARRIOR also confirms a point I have been trying to hammer home for years, in my books and, more recently, in those Suvudu cage matches — defense rules. Armor kicks ass. Before gunpowder, give me a suit of plate-and-mail, a stout helm, and a whomping big shield, and keep magic out of it, and I’ll make mincepie out of unarmored or lightly armored opponents.

Monkey front. Whacking at King Kong, making progress, but not as fast or easy as I like. But Freaky Monkey is finally coming together, and him I should be able to get off my back in the next few weeks.

Yes, casting is on-going for the HBO series, so I’ve been seeing a lot of tapes. No, I won’t say who, but it’s been fun. Some actors are household names who would be recognized by any film or television fan, some are veteran character actors, some are brilliant young newcomers. A wealth of choices. There are a lot of fine actors out there. On the other hand, some of these roles are very challenging, to say the least. (No, there are no obscure hints there). Parts are being cast in roughly the order they will appear in the show, so right now we’re mostly concerned with filling parts for the pilot reshoots and episode two. Characters like Lord Tywin (who does not appear until my episode, episode eight) and Shae are not going to be cast until much later in the process.

It’s not always going to be the most familiar names who get the roles, either. And to all the dreamers and aspiring actors out there, let me say this — PLEASE stop sending me your photographs and resumes, I am not the way to get a part on the series. You need to go through our casting director, not through me.

What else, what else? More than I can recall. It’s late, and bed beckons. Tomorrow I have to whack at King Kong again.

Later.

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May Day

May 1, 2010 at 3:25 pm
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It’s May, it’s May, hurray.

What’s more, I actually met a deadline. I turned in the first draft of my script for episode eight of A GAME OF THRONES to David and Dan on the day it was due. Today, as it happens.

It’s too long and too expensive, but that’s true of every first draft teleplay and screenplay that I ever wrote. I’ve titled it “The Pointy End,” though I don’t know if that will endure. Last I heard, it hadn’t been decided whether we’d be using episode titles or not.

One monkey off my back. At least until it’s time for rewrites, and the second draft.

Other monkeys are still frolicking up there, including Kong. He was a king in his world, but we’ll teach him fear…

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Can’t Shut Me Up

April 28, 2010 at 8:29 pm
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For those who haven’t had enough of hearing me pontificate, there’s a new podcast up on the Dragon Page at http://www.dragonpage.com/2010/04/27/cover-to-cover-405a/

Hear me talk with Mike & Mike (no, not Greenberg and Golic) about WARRIORS, A DANCE WITH DRAGONS, and the HBO series.

No football talk. I’m saving that for when I’m a guest of the other Mike & Mike.

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Coming Soon to a Theater Near You

April 27, 2010 at 5:57 pm
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Well, okay, maybe not “soon.”

But eventually… we hope… (fingers crossed).

The good folks at Mike the Pike productions are developing my werewolf novella, “The Skin Trade,” into what we all hope will be a major motion picture. These things do take time, of course, and we’re still a long way from the cameras rolling… but Mike the Pike has commissioned this nifty poster as a promotional sales tool, and I thought I’d share it.

Now all we need is a movie to go with our poster.

You can find out more about Mike the Pike at their website: http://www.mikethepikefilms.com/

On other fronts, I am writing on DANCE WITH DRAGONS, writing on episode eight of the HBO series, waiting for three more rewrites to come in on FORT FREAK, looking at some spectacular art by John Picacio, and spending my spare time with Varys, Littlefinger, the Old Bear, Jory Cassel, Septa Mordane, Bronn, and some other old friends. Need more hours in the day, please.

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Fifteen Fantastic Years

April 25, 2010 at 4:58 pm
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Let’s raise a glass to all my good friends at Harper Collins Voyager in the UK, on the occasion of their 15th anniversary.

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Here’s wishing you many, many more.

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Draft Musings

April 24, 2010 at 6:03 pm
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Well, another NFL draft has come and gone.

I liked the new three-day format, with the first round and the second/third being telecast in prime time on Thursday and Friday respectively. The days did not seem quite so endless, and the break between round one and round two allowed for more wheeling and dealing. The first night actually drew higher ratings than the NBA playoff games being broadcast that same night, which just goes to demonstrate the respective popularity of football and basketball in the United States.

Who would ever have guessed that what began seventy-five years ago as a bunch of fat old men getting together in a hotel ballroom with a stack of magazines about college football and a lot of index cards would one day become a three-day sporting extravaganza watched in real time by millions of people? And really, under the glitz, it’s STILL just a bunch of fat old men with index cards… though with the new format, now at least something actually happens every ten minutes, instead of fifteen as previously.

My general impressions. The Seattle Seahawks had the best overall draft. Good picks, and they made some good trades too, including picking up Leon Washington from the Jets. If Leon comes back strong from his broken leg, he’ll be a real asset there. The Oakland Raiders also did surprisingly well. (How did that happen? Does someone have Al Davis tied up in a cellar somewhere?) Not only did they snatch Rolando McClain away from my G-Men, damn them, but they traded a late round pick next season for Jason Campbell… who may have been the worst QB in the NFC East last season, but still represents a huge upgrade over JaMarcus “I Complete Forty Per Cent of My Passes” Russell. The Raiders could be dangerous this year; they already had a good defense, and they made it better. With some decent QB play, who knows?

Dallas got the highest-rated WR in the draft. Made me grind my teeth. Philadelphia went for quantity, kept trading down for picks. One was Mike Kafka, the QB from my alma mater, Northwestern. I like to see Wildcats make good in the NFL (it happens so seldom), but did it have to be the Iggles? Odds are, some of these picks will turn out to be good, which means Philadelphia likely improved themselves. But I think they will miss Donovan McNabb before the year is out. Eagles fans are excited about Kevin Kolb, based on his performance standing in for McNabb last season, but two games does not a career make. Right now, Philly has the weakest QB in the NFL East, and that will bite them on the ass eventually.

Evil Little Bill seemed to have thirty-four picks as well. Thirty-two of them were tight ends. BB must be planning a new offensive scheme; Tom Brady and ten tight ends.

And how did my teams do? Glad you asked.

The Giants had their usual boring draft. They were slotted in as #15, and that’s where they drafted, every round. No moving up, no moving down, no trades, they just sat where they were and picked a player when the pick got round to them. The big excitement was having Mark Bavaro announce one pick for them.

The G-Men went into this draft desperately needing linebackers. Especially a middle LB, since they released Antonio Pierce. But the Raiders snatched away Rolando McClain, the LB they were really high on, so they went another way in round one. In round two, everyone expected they would pick Sean Lee or Brandon Spikes, both of whom were still available when they chose, but I guess those guys did not impress them. So as it turned out they did not get a LB until the third day, when they picked Phyllis Diller… er… Phillip Dillard. I found him in my draft magazines, but just barely. Hope to hell he’s good.

Last year the Giants did not get as many sacks as they had in previous years, true… but even so, the strength of Big Blue’s defense has been its defensive ends, a trio relentless pass rushers as good as any in the league — Osi Umenyiora, Justin Tuck, and Matthias Kiwanuka. So who did they pick in round one? Another pass rusher.
A phenom named Jason Pierre-Paul who has supposedly been sensational in all seven of the college games he’s started. Also, he can do this:
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I guess the Giants new defensive coordinator is planning to install a radical new pass rush wherein the ends backflip over the offensive linemen to get to the QB.

But seriously, boys and girls… Pierre-Paul does appear to be an amazing athlete, but his lack of actual game experience worries me. My teams have drafted combine heroes before, most recently the Jets with Vernon Ghloston only two years ago, and we know how THAT turned out.

In later rounds, the Giants drafted a huge defensive tackle named Joseph (who I hope turns out better than the last huge defensive tackle named Joseph that we drafted), a tall rangy safety, that previously-mentioned linebacker, a “sleeper” linebacker from William & Mary who wasn’t even mentioned in any of my draft magazines, an offensive guard who is said to be a real mauler and nasty run-blocker (a bookend to Chris Snee, I hope)… and a punter. I guess that means Jeff Feagles is really going to retire. He is older than I am, after all. I will hate to see Feagles go, though admittedly his punting did fall off badly last year. He’s still the best there is at punting from midfield, where he excels at dropping the ball on the opposition’s three-yard line. But when the Giants were pinned inside their own twenty and needed a huge booming distance punt to get ’em out of trouble… well, that’s where his age showed. If this Dodge kid is half the punter Jeff was, I’ll be happy.

All in all, a very unglamorous draft. No “sexy” picks. A punter, an offensive lineman, and five defensive players. I doubt any of the draft gurus will rate this draft highly — but given the way the Giants’ defense collapsed last year, it may have been just what we needed.
Tom Coughlin hates to give up points, and so do I.

(I still wish we had gotten McClain, though).

The Jets, as usual, did things differently.

They’d already traded away several choices before the draft began, and they traded away a couple of more today, so they ended up with only four choices.

And not choices I ever would have expected.

Last season Gang Green had the top pass defense in the NFL. It could have been even better with a real stud defensive end sack artist rushing the opposing QB, so I figured that would be what the Jets would go after. But no. Instead they used their first round pick on another cornerback, a kid named Kyle Wilson from Boise State. He looks to be a good one, though. Teamed with Darrelle Revis and Antonio Cromartie, he should give the Jets the best corner trio in the NFL. I don’t think Rex wants ANY passes completed against us this year. From now on, he brings nine on every play. But hey, if Wilson is as good as advertised, maybe he’ll be able to shut down Wes Welker, who has been killing us every time the Jets play the Patriots. Welker, and the AFC championship game against the Colts, explains why Rex drafted him, I think.

Second round the Jets picked a huge Haitian kid named Vladimir Ducasse to play on the offensive line. Guard to start, I guess, maybe eventually right tackle. He’s gigantic and very talented, it’s said, but raw… but he’ll be competing for a starting spot right off, since the Jets have just released Alan Faneca, their big free-agent acquisition from a couple years ago. Faneca is still a hell of a run blocker, and was a major contributor to Gang Green’s league-leading rushing attack last season, but he was a liability in pass protection, and gave up way too many sacks. Plugging in a raw kid like Young Vladimir in his place is kind of a risk, even so. In the long run, probably a good move, if Ducasse is as gifted as advertised. In the short run, I hope this doesn’t get Mark Sanchez killed.

The Jets weren’t supposed to pick again until the end of the fourth round… but they traded up into the middle of the fourth to nab Joe McKnight, a running back out of USC. Quick, elusive, shifty, good at catching passes out of the backfield. The choice puzzled the hell out of me, however. “Wait a minute,” I said. “We already have a quick, elusive, shifty RB who is good at catching passes out of the backfield. We have Leon Washington. What do we need this Joe guy for?”

My question was answered a round later, when the Jets traded Leon Washington and a seventh round pick (their last of the day) to Seattle for their fifth-round pick, so they could choose a huge pile-driver of a fullback named John Connor. (Nicknamed, yes, you guessed it, ‘The Terminator’). Kewl. Not many NFL teams use blocking fullbacks any more, but the Giants and Jets are two that do, and I love them. The Jets already have a great blocking fullback in Tony Richardson, but he’s almost as old as Jeff Feagles, so I guess John Connor will be his eventual replacement. Must admit, I love the idea of having a Terminator on my team… and there’s some suggestion that Connor might be more of a Mike Alstott type, capable of running the ball as well as blocking. If so, I really like this pick.

That being said, this Jets draft seems more geared for the long term than for the immediate future. Terminator is a new, younger Tony, but unproven. Vladimir is a new, younger Alan Faneca, only unproven. McKnight is a new, younger Leon Washington, one who hasn’t recently suffered a compound fracture of his leg… but still, unproven. The Jets get younger, but do they get better? The only pick that seems likely to provide immediate impact is that first-rounded cornerback from Boise State.

And of course the Jets did nothing at all to bolster their pass rush, which remains the most conspicous lack on Rex Ryan’s defense. Could it be they still hold out hope for Gholston?

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