Okay, this one is true.

At the Q&A following the premiere of the new TOLKIEN film in Los Angeles last week, I did indeed say that Gandalf could kick Dumbledore’s ass.

Got a nice laugh. Which was good. Cause it was a joke, y’know.

Which doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

Gandalf COULD kick Dumbledore’s ass. I mean, duh. He’s a maia, folks. Next best thing to a demigod. Gandalf dies and come back. Dumbledore dies and stays dead.

But if it will calm down all the Potterites out there, let me say that Gandalf could kick Melisandre’s ass too.

As long as I am shooting down loony stories on the internet… there was also one that claimed I hate the character Bronn and/or the actor who portrays him, Jerome Flynn.

Total bullshit. Not a shred of truth.

I created Bronn, so it would be immodest of me to say he’s a terrific character… but what the hell, he’s a terrific character, and my readers will definitely be seeing more of him in the books to come.

And Jerome Flynn has been just WONDERFUL. It’s been a honor to work with him. He’s done a marvelous job of bringing Bronn to life.

Again: don’t believe anything you read on the internet.

Internet journalism is an oxymoron, I am more and more convinced.

Of late it seems there’s a new story about me somewhere on the net every day, or near enough to make no matter. Many get things wrong. For the most part I ignore them. I have better things to do than try and track down every weird rumor or out-and-out fabrication that pops up on some obscure website trolling for traffic.

Every so often, however, one of these stories gains an improbable currency, and just chuckling at the insanity no longer suffices.

That seems to be happening right now. All of a sudden this crazy story about my finishing THE WINDS OF WINTER and A DREAM OF SPRING years ago is popping up everywhere. No, I am not going to provide links. I don’t want to reward purveyors of misinformation with hits.

I will, however, say for the record — no, THE WINDS OF WINTER and A DREAM OF SPRING are not finished. DREAM is not even begun; I am not going to start writing volume seven until I finish volume six

It seems absurd to me that I need to state this. The world is round, the Earth revolves around the sun, water is wet… do I need to say that too? It boggles me that anyone would believe this story, even for an instant. It makes not a whit of sense. Why would I sit for years on completed novels? Why would my publishers — not just here in the US, but all around the world — ever consent to this? They make millions and millions of dollars every time a new Ice & Fire book comes out, as do I. Delaying makes no sense. Why would HBO want the books delayed? The books help create interest in the show, just as the show creates interest in the books.

So… no, the books are not done. HBO did not ask me to delay them. Nor did David & Dan. There is no “deal” to hold back on the books. I assure you, HBO and David & Dan would both have been thrilled and delighted if THE WINDS OF WINTER had been delivered and published four or five years ago… and NO ONE would have been more delighted than me.

I have said it before: don’t believe everything you read on the internet.

Except here, of course.