These guys are bigger than the first two. And they have names too!

The first guy loves goats, the second likes his meat tough. The second guy never conquered India. Is it rabbit or rarebit? The first guy might know. The guy who had more dingers than anyone but the guys who liked the juice, well, the second guy isn’t that guy, or even the guy who chased that guy all summer. The first guy has been a nobleman, a moron, and a hog. The second guy holds a record: the biggest little guy. The first guy has been every flavor of cop. The king of the deep knocked the second guy topsy turvy.

I hope that was confusing enough. By this point, even I’ve lost track.

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The first guy is a man with no name, who is up to no good. The second guy is a man with no name, who is up to no good. ((Maybe they’ll get names eventually, hey. Our red-headed whore did. Just sayin’)) The first guy has been a guard and a garda, he’s slept with beasts and eaten a girl, he knows that anything that can go wrong will go wrong, he’s seen sleeping dogs and flying saucers, and met Kavalier and Clay’s greatest creation (or did he)? The second guy is not simple and he’s not high, but he’s been to the beach and crossed the Mersey, seen his share of doctors, and once went down in flames. Oh, the humanity, the humanity.

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No, take two. You’ve nailed two more correctly.

“The bloody lash knows what it’s like to be dead. He’s met his waterloo and been a casualty, and seen his share of apparitions too.”

The bloody lash is Jhogo, one of Dany’s bloodriders. He’s the one she gives the whip too. In the series, he will be played by Londoner ELYES GABEL.

Gabel played Rob Cleaver in WATERLOO ROAD, ‘Guppy’ Sandhu in CASUALTY, and Vimal in APPARITIONS. In DEAD SET his character becomes a zombie, so he knows what it is like to be dead. You’ll enjoy watching him as Dany’s whip man. It is known.

(And for those of you who are keeping score, Dany’s other bloodriders will be played by extras or featured extras, at least in season one).

“The horny-headed hammerhand is older than you might have thought, but too young to need a pacemaker, though he might have ridden on the ferry with Gerry. Another friend of our kraken’s sister, he knows the doctor and the wizard too. Damned if he doesn’t play what he calls football (not the real kind).”

You got this one very fast. Yes, the horny-headed hammerhand is Gendry, the armorer’s apprenctice, who fashions a horned helm for himself, and is told that his hands were made for hammers. Portraying him in the series will be JOE DEMPSIE.

Yes, Dempsie is considerably older than Gendry in the books. David & Dan decided to age up the character, as with many of the children in the books (Robb, Jon, Dany, etc). Dempsie hails from Liverpool, on the Mersey, which is why you will find those references to Gerry and the Pacemakers in the clues (though he’s still so young I doubt he knows who Gerry and the Pacemakers were). He’s played in MERLIN and DOCTOR WHO, so he knows the wizard and the doctor, though he’s perhaps best known for his role as Chris in SKINS. He’s been on LILY ALLEN AND FRIENDS, and he was in THE DAMNED UNITED, a soccer movie. That’s “football” for those parts of the world that don’t know True Football.

So… two more bright young talents come to Westeros. I think you’ll like ’em.

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The bloody lash knows what it’s like to be dead. He’s met his waterloo and been a casualty, and seen his share of apparitions too. The horny-headed hammerhand is older than you might have thought, but too young to need a pacemaker, though he might have ridden on the ferry with Gerry. Another friend of our kraken’s sister, he knows the doctor and the wizard too. Damned if he doesn’t play what he calls football (not the real kind).

(Ooops, screwed up the clues again. Fixed now. Resume).

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I have fallen way behind in introducing you to the many of the wonderful actors and actresses that have been cast recently for HBO’s GAME OF THRONES. They’re hiring them faster than I can write about ’em.

There’s too many for me to catch up in one swell foop, but let me mention a few.

Playing Tywin Lannister, Lord of Casterly Rock and Warden of the West, will be the distinguished British star of stage and screen CHARLES DANCE, O.B.E., who has been our dream casting for this role since the moment we were greenlighted.

Dance was one of the fan favorites for Lord Tywin as well, so he needs no introduction for many of you, I know. For the rest… he has been acting professionally since 1974, but the role that really brought him to widespead attention was Guy Perron in THE JEWEL AND THE CROWN, in 1984. You’ve seen him in GOLDENEYE, GOSFORD PARK, as Mr. Tulkinghorn in BLEAK HOUSE, and a million other films and television shows. You will shortly be seeing him YOUR HIGHNESS, the film that preceded our pilot in Belfast’s Paint Hall. His commanding screen presence and steely charisma should make him the perfect Lord Tywin.

The more feared of the many Lannister knights is the huge, brutal Ser Gregor Clegane, the Mountain That Rides. I did not exactly make it easy for David and Dan and our casting director Nina Gold when I described Gregor as being almost eight feet tall, but they came through as always when they filled the role with Conan… no, not Jason Momoa, and not the Governator either (way too old, way too small, and not a good enough actor), but Australian actor, bodybuilder, and stunt man CONAN STEVENS.

Stevens is actually about ten inches shorter than the Mountain… but still a good half foot taller than Rory McCann, who will be playing his “little brother” Sandor Clegane. He first came to our attention when he read for the part of Khal Drogo. He was not right for that role, but he’s perfect for this one, with the acting chops to go with the great physicality he brings to Gregor.

Stevens has his own website at http://www.conanstevens.com/ and is also a blogger. At last report, he was already in Belfast, being fitted for his armor and meeting the other members of the cast. You can read more about that on his blog. He seems to be an amiable fellow, from what he writes, not at all like Ser Gregor. But on screen he’s very different, and I can’t wait to see the Mountain and the Hound square off at the Hand’s tourney.

And to round out the gang from the westerlands, we’ve tapped another talented young English actor, EUGENE SIMON, to play the role of Lancel Lannister, King Robert’s squire, eldest son of Ser Kevan Lannister, cousin to Cersei, Jaime, and Tyrion.

Simon made his acting debut in 2003 in MY DAD’S THE PRIME MINISTER. He has also played Young Ben-Hur in the recent remake of BEN-HUR and Young Casanova in CASANOVA, and co-starred as Gerald Durrell in MY FAMILY AND OTHER ANIMALS, where he shared the screen with the lovely Tamzin Merchant. Like Conan Stevens, Simon initially read for another role, one that went to someone else, but he impressed David and David (and me, FWIW) so much that we knew we’d found our Lancel.

(For those of you keeping score, no, we won’t be casting Robert’s younger squire, Tyrek “Wet-Nurse” Lannister, at least not for season one. We may be able to bring him in for season two. Assuming we get one, of course).

Three more great choices, I think. I’m a happy camper.

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Okay, all this is news to me, especially the bit about the magazine.

Which, y’know, I’m figuring is more wishful thinking than an actual fact.

http://livefeed.hollywoodreporter.com/2010/08/game-of-thrones-to-premiere-in-spring.html

But I’ve got to admit, it would be COOOOL.

Dr. Hook put it much better than I can.

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Hiya kids, hiya, hiya.

You’re too dumb to make this soup the way they’re making it in Belfast. Start with Becky, Tom, and Boss. Take away two fathoms. Now you want the second course. In the dark the breaker of rocks seeks the living stone. But take away the fat guy with six wives, and the babe with the bumbershoot as well, that salty wench. Out, out. What’s left tastes good, but just remember, there is no gamecock in aurochs stew. IMDB? What’s that? I’m Dumb Boy? Won’t help you here, no way, no how.

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My readers in the UK have been emailing me for months, wanting to know whether GAME OF THRONES would be shown over there. The answer (I hoped) was “yes,” but I could not give details, because (1) I didn’t know, actually, and (2) some major negotiations were going on behind the scenes.

But now the GUARDIAN has broken the story, so all can be told:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2010/jul/29/bskyb-buys-hbo-tv-catalogue

The short version: SKY has bought the UK rights to the entire HBO catalog of original shows, past and present.

So, yes, GAME OF THRONES will be seen in the UK… on SKY.

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And it did not take you very damn long to figure out the second role as well.

The part of Shae, the camp follower that Bronn the sellsword finds before the battle of the Green Fork and delivers to Tyrion Lannister, will be played by the amazing SIBEL KEKILLI.

Shae needs no introduction to any Ice & Fire reader, I would imagine. If you’ve forgotten her, you obviously weren’t paying attention, so get off the internet at once and go and reread the books. There may be a pop quiz.

Sibel Kekilli is a German actress of Turkish descent, who crashed onto the film scene in a big way in 2004 in an award-winning film called HEAD-ON, after being discovered by the casting director while shopping in a mall in Cologne. She’s won both the Bambi Prize (the deer) and the Lola Award (cherry cola, L-O-L-A Lola, and if you missed that clue, you obviously haven’t been listening to enough Kinks). The Lola is the “German Oscar,” and Sibel has actually won it twice. She’s also won the Tribeca Award and the Golden Orange Prize.

I want to say a few words about her audition, which I thought was extraordinary. A lot of beautiful young women read for Shae. The scene they were reading was the first meeting between Shae and Tyrion, in his tent on the Green Fork the night before the battle. Shae is a camp follower, a prostitute, and she is, of course, coming on to Tyrion in a big way. There is a LOT of sexual heat in the scene, as written and as played. And all of our Shaes were sexy as hell. Watching them one after another would fog up anyone’s glasses.

But there’s another dimension to Shae as well. She’s not as practiced and hardened at this as a more seasoned pro. There’s still a girl next door quality to her, a sense of vulnerability, playfulness, and, yes, innocence. And it’s that quality Tyrion responds to, that quality that brings him back to Shae, and drives all that follows. He knows what she is, consciously, but down deep he wants to believe that he has found another Tysha.

All of our Shaes were hot as hell. But only a handful of them captured that other quality, maybe three out of twenty, and Sibel was the standout. It’s easy to see why she has won all those awards. Watching those auditions, any red-blooded male would want to take every one of our Shae candidates to bed. But Sibel made you fall in love with her as well.

She’s going to be amazing. And I can’t believe you figured out who she was so fast!

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