Not a Blog

Gleep

January 5, 2007 at 12:14 pm
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/>”Gleep” is a word from my distant past, from my college days in the chess club at Northwestern University. It’s what you say when you suddenly realize that you have have just made a very bad move, your opponent has just made a very good move, and/or your position is hopelessly lost. Started as the favorite expression of one guy, but the whole club soon picked it up and started using it, and GLEEP actually became the name of our NU chess club newsletter.

I hadn’t uttered a “gleep” in decades, but one escaped my lips this morning, when I sat down and logged on to AOL and suffered some sort of strange computer hiccup… after which, suddenly, my Personal Filing Cabinet and Favorite Places were both completely empty.

More than three thousand emails and a couple of hundred bookmarks wiped out in the blink of an eye.

Gleep.

This sort of thing used to happen every six months or so with the early versions of AOL, but the more recent versions seemed to have fixed the problem, and I haven’t had my bookmarks or filing cabinet vanish on me since 1998. I thought the system was finally stable, and got a bit complacent, I guess.

Of course, there are now automatic backups built in to the system, and of course I have been trying to use them all morning, to see if I can get anything back. So far, no good. In the immediate aftermath of the catastrophe, as I was still trying to figure out what had happened, four new emails arrived in about a minute. I deleted them and went back to troubleshooting. Unfortunately now, when I try the restore function, it just seems to restore the four post-gleep emails, and not the thousands of older ones that were sitting in my filing cabinet last night.

I haven’t given up yet, but I am starting to feel glum.

Some days I truly hate computers.

Lest anyone have a heart attack, let me hasten to add that this has NOT affected A DANCE WITH DRAGONS or any of my other work-in-progress. I do my writing on a completely different computer than the one I use for email and the internet, in part to guard against viruses, worms, and nightmares like this. My work machine does not even use Windows (which I loathe). I write with WordStar 4.0 on a pure DOS-based machine. Mock if you must… but WordStar and DOS are both stable as rocks, and never give me the sort of headaches I get from Windows. (I won’t even talk about Microsoft Word, about which I have nothing printable to say).

So my novel is safe. It’s just my emails that are lost.

I suppose, if I can’t fix this, I could try to look at it as a sort of liberation. Last night I had more than three thousand emails awaiting answers. This morning I have none.

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SUBWAY SUPERBOWL!!!

January 1, 2007 at 10:17 am
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Well, okay, the chances are remote… for but one week, at least, I can entertain myself with the possibility, faint as it may be. The Giants and the Jets are both in the playoffs.

The Jets got in yesterday, when they defeated the woeful Raiders in the Meadowlands. (Sorry about that, Lodey). Oakland was 2-13 coming in, so Gang Green was heavily favored… but I have been a Jets fan for a long, line time, and when you’re a Jets fan you learn never to take anything for granted. The Same Old Jets of years past would have found a way to blow this game, and the playoffs with it. They do seem to have turned a corner under the kid coach Eric Mangini, however. For once, they are beating teams they ought to beat. To their credit, the Raiders did not roll over, although their own season ended months ago. They played hard, especially their tough young defense, and made a tight game of it until the fourth quarter. The Jets wanted it more, however. Chad Pennington played a smart, careful, efficient game, and finished the first full sixteen-game season of his career with a convincing win. And Leon Washington, the rookie the Jets picked with the draft choice they got for former coach Herman Edwards, sealed the win with another nifty, darting run.

On paper, the Jets are probably the least talented of the twelve teams to make the playoffs. In fact, they have less talent than several teams that will be staying home in January (the Panthers, Bengals, and Broncos all come to mind). They play tough and smart, however, and unlike the Same Old Jets of yore, they seldom shoot themselves in the foot. That’s what I like so much about them. I have a soft spot for underdogs and overachievers.

As for the Giants, their playoff berth was not certain until a few of Sunday’s games fell out in certain ways, but they had largely assured themselves of a berth the night before when they defeated the Washington Redskins to finish the season at 8-8. That’s after starting the season at 6-2, mind you. The victory over the Redskins was anything but convincing. It wasn’t the Giants that beat the ‘Skins as much as it was Tiki Barber. Last season, Tiki set a franchise rushing record in a game against the Kansas City Chiefs (I blogged about it at the time). On Saturday he broke his own record, rushing for 234 yards and 3 touchdowns. It was another amazing performance from a great player, and had me high-fiving Parris and shouting TIKI! TIKI! TIKI! at the television set. Even so, the Giants barely held on to win. Some “experts” claim that Eli Manning played much better, but I don’t know what game they were watching. In the game I watched, Eli completed less than half his throws and passed for only a hundred yards and change. And some of his misses were just as errant as in past weeks. (One of them actually hit a Redskins DB in the ass).

Tom Coughlin did actually take my advice (posted here last week) and insert Jared Lorenzon in the game… but only for a quarterback sneak, alas. The Hefty Lefty got the first down, but then left the game again. Ah, well. At least he took a snap.

The Giants defense looked as bad as Eli. Time and time again, Tiki would deliver what should have been the crushing blow, only to have the defense let Washington answer with a score of their own, and put the issue in doubt again. The young Redskins QB Jason Campbell looked like the second coming of Vince Young at times. Yes, the defense has suffered on a lot of injuries, but still… they should be much better than this. New York Giants football has always meant DEFENSIVE football. Even in their worst years, the Giants have always fielded a tough defense. It makes me sick to see them getting pushed around this way.

The Giants are the mirror image of the Jets. On paper, they have as much talent as any team in the NFL, and should be able to beat anyone. On paper, there’s no reason why they should not be able to go all the way to the SuperBowl. Alas, the games are not played on paper. It all comes down to coaching, which is why I still want Tom Coughlin fired, playoffs or no playoffs. Eric Mangini has the Jets giving 200 per cent of themselves, while Coughlin is getting maybe 50 per cent out of the Giants (except for Tiki, of course. I am going to miss him so much next season).

So now I have one week to savor the playoffs before Wild Card Weekend will be upon us. Both of my teams play on Sunday. The Jets will be going up to Boston to play the Patriots, the Giants down to Philadelphia to play the Eagles. Bitter archrivals and division foes, in both cases, and in both cases this will be the third meeting of the season — a rubber game, since both regular season series were split 1-1. The home teams will be favored in both games, and rightfully so. Next weekend could see both my teams eliminated. Until and unless that happens, however, I will go on clinging to my hopes. Maybe the Jets will continue to surprise the pundits… maybe the G-Men will finally wake up and play at their talent level… maybe this will be the year we get that Subway Superbowl.

(So says my heart. My head keep telling me it will be the Chargers and the Saints in the Superbowl this year).

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New York, New York

December 26, 2006 at 10:05 am
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I’m not one of those fair weather football fans. I’ve always believed that your team is your team, and you root for them every week of every season, whether they are good, bad, or indifferent.

That being sad, it was hard to be a Giants fan this past weekend. Their play against the Saints was absolutely disgraceful. This is an enormously talented team that seems to have no heart, no head, and no discipline. Tom Coughlin needs to be fired. For all the talk about what a hard-ass he is, he actually seems to be a candy-ass when it comes to disciplining his team. Bob Whitfield helped blow a game a couple of weeks ago when he head-butted an opponent after a play was over, drawing a fifteen yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. Pretty stupid for a fifteen-year veteran, but okay, everyone gets angry sometimes. Then, against the Saints, Whitfield does EXACTLY THE SAME THING again, head-butting a Saint after the play and drawing another fifteen yarder. At that point, Coughlin should have shown the idiot to the bench and sat him down for the rest of the game… but no, he keeps him in, and sure enough, a couple quarters later, Whitfield gets ANOTHER costly fifteen-yard penalty. This is NOT discipline.

And Eli… don’t get me started. If Coughlin had any guts, Eli would have been benched by now. Parcells did not hesitate to bench Drew Bledsoe and insert Tony Romo at halftime in the first game between the Cowboys and the G-Men, and it turned the entire Cowboys season around. Last night, Nick Saban pulled Joey Harrington and inserted Cleo Lemon for the Dolphins against the Jets, and the week before, in Minnesota, Brad Childress sat down Brad Johnson and put in Tavaris Jackson. The Jets won both those games, true, but in both cases the new QB gave the team a much-needed spark. I can’t help but wonder if Jared Lorenzen might not provide the same sort of spark for the Giants. The kid is huge and raw and has an absolute cannon for an arm, and he looked pretty good in pre-season, but it has become plain that Coughlin is never going to give him a chance, no matter how badly Eli Manning plays.

Pfui. I say, fire Coughlin, and play the Hefty Lefty.

The weird thing is, the Giants still have a good chance to sneak into the playoffs. If they do, they will be the worst playoff team of all time. It’s a disgrace, really. Tiki deserved to go out on top, not like this.

On the other hand, I have the Jets, who won another good one last night against the Dolphins. That was a lovely Xmas present. Nearly gave me a coronary, however. I went out to Christmas dinner with some friends, so I did not watch the game live. No problem, though, I had TIVO set up to record it for me, so after everyone went home I settled down in front of the television to watch. The first three quarters were not the most exciting football I’ve ever seen, it must be said — it was pouring in Miami, and in the steady rain neither offense could seem to get untracked. There was some good hitting, though, and both teams hung in there. The Jets had a 3-0 lead at the end of the third quarter, but then Nick Saban went to Cleo Lemon at QB and suddenly the Dolphins came alive. They roared down the field for a TD, but the Jets came right back with a TD of their own on a great toss from Chad to Jericho, who stretched out like Plastic Man as he was falling to get the ball across the goal. With time running out, the Jets D rose up and stopped the Dolphins three-and-out, and I thought the game might be safely in hand… until a lousy, short punt took a bad hop and hit one of the Jets in the back and the Dolphins recovered deep in Jets territory. My heart lurched. The Jets have a long history of having games and seasons destroyed by freak plays like this, strange moments that somehow turn everything around… and sure enough, the Dolphins took the ball and were advancing deep into Jets territory for a go-ahead TD or a tying field goal, and then… URK… my TIVO recording ended abruptly!!! The game had run past its allotted slot.

So I never saw the end. Fortunately for my sanity, the end was a good one. The Dolphins did indeed tie it up, and the ensuing kickoff had the Jets back deep in their own territory, but then Little Leon the rookie broke a 64-yard run on a screen pass, and Mike Nugent kicked a game-winning field goal as time ran out.

What hey. Maybe these aren’t the Same Old Jets. The Same Old Jets would certainly have fallen apart after the punt took that freak hop, but these Jets bore down and came back. Leon was great… but I have to credit Chad and Eric Mangini as well.

Of course, the acid test will come next weekend, when the Jets host the dismal Raiders. Win, and they are in the playoffs. The Raiders are 2-13. Nonetheless, the Same Old Jets of years past would find a way to lose and snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Can Mangini prevent that? We shall see. A Jets fan never makes assumptions.

As for the Giants… I want Charlie Weis and Scott Pioli next season, thank you very much. If Weis can’t turn Eli around, no one can… but if that happens, I’d hope that at least Charlie would have the guts to try Lorenzen. Let’s see what the Pillsbury Throw Boy can do!

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Merry, Merry

December 25, 2006 at 9:18 am
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Here’s wishing a Merry Christmas and Joyous Yule to all my friends and readers.

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Wild Cards Returns!

December 11, 2006 at 5:50 pm
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The new Wild Cards book is rapidly nearing completion, and I hope to be able to deliver it to Tor by the end of the year. I’m just waiting on a few rewrites at present.

This will be the eighteenth volume in the overall series, and the first of our “new generation” triad. The title will be INSIDE STRAIGHT. Look for it in hardcover some time next year.

For those who can’t wait, I have just uploaded a short sample to my website. Just click on the blue and white shield at the top of the main page. The excerpt is by Daniel Abraham, and introduces his new ace, Jonathan Hive. Have fun reading it. I know I did.

And for those of you who know me only for A SONG OF ICE & FIRE and have never read a WILD CARDS book… well, maybe it’s time you did. The two series are very different, of course, but then, I like to write (and edit) different sorts of things. Variety’s a great spice, in life, and love, and reading.

(And yes, I may change the ICE & FIRE sample soon as well, but it will probably be one you’ve seen before, not something brand new. When A FEAST FOR CROWS came out, I realized that something close to half the book had already been out there in one form or another — website samples, readings, promotional giveaways, excerpts in magazines, and so on. That was too much. I am not going to do that with DANCE).

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Good News and Bad News

December 5, 2006 at 11:18 pm
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I can’t believe that it has been almost a month since I last posted here. Sometimes the days and weeks do really seem to fly past in a blur.

For me, it’s been a month of bad news and good news, some serious, some trivial.

Good News. The Jets. The Jets don’t have half the talent the Giants have, but they seem to be playing twice as well. Coaching is everything in the NFL, and it seems the Jets finally have a good one in Eric Mangini. Let’s see if he can keep it up in the last four games.

Bad News. The Giants. Oy. What can I say? Can they think of any more ways to lose games? Tiki Barber is a great, great player, and I love Jeremy Shockey’s fire, and the defense has some studs on it as well (when they are not all injured)… but Eli has been maddeningly erratic, and the team’s lack of discipline is shocking. Coughlin has to get the blame for that. They should have hired Charlie Weis to replace Fassel. Unless the G-Men turn it around soon, though, they may be looking for a coach again at season’s end.

Good news. Home renovations. The house is finally coming together, and it will be very nice once we get moved back in.

Bad news. Home renovations. It was supposed to be done in early November. Then by Thanksgiving. Then by early December. Then by Christmas. It’s still not done, and I don’t think it will be done by Christmas either. Cardinal rules of home remodeling: everything takes longer and costs twice as much, the disruption and annoyance levels are always much higher than you anticipated. Parris and I are still living across the street in my office, with the cats. We haven’t killed each other yet, which can only be a testament to our love for one another. I have been tempted to behead the cats a few times.

Good news. Thanksgiving. One of my favorite holidays of the year. We went out to the gorgeous new house Carl built for Melinda and had a great turkey dinner cooked in their vast and splendid new kitchen. Great turkey, and Melinda made one of her justly-famous apple pies (my favorite dessert, I’m just an all American boy). Good turkey, good wine, good company, nothing beats Thanksgiving with friends (except maybe Thanksgiving with friends, family, and mashed rutabagas).

Bad news. Christmas. My least favorite holiday of the year, and it is already bearing down on us like a freight train. Sorry, I have no Xmas spirit. Bah, humbug. Every year, for decades now, Christmas finds me stressed out like nobody’s business, trying to complete some script, story, or novel that I have promised to someone “by the end of the year,” sweating blood over my computer, and forgetting about the Dread Day until it is almost too late. I used to do all my Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve. These days I do most of it by catalog, but I still manage to wait so long that I always end up paying extra for the SuperDuper Priority Overnight Shipping for Idiots Who Didn’t Shop Until the Last Minute. And then I have to WRAP the presents. I am the world’s worst present-wrapper. I am usually wrapping presents at three in the morning Xmas day, to have them ready before Parris wakes up. Some year, I know, Christmas stress is going to give me a major coronary. I just hope it’s not this year. I can’t possibly die this year, I have far too much to do.

Good news. The election. Hey, hot damn, we threw the rascals out! A lot of the rascals, anyway. I am not naive enough to think the utopia will now ensue, but it certainly felt good to win one for a change, and the Senate will certainly be better off without Rick Santorum and George Allen.

Bad news. The election. Okay, we didn’t manage to throw ALL the rascals out. Heather Wilson snuck back into the House, dammit, and Joe Lieberman, the Democrat-Who-Walks-like-a-Republican, got back in as well.

Good news. Work. I’ve been home for this past month — no cons, no tours, no awards dinners — and that has enabled me to be much more productive than in the months preceding. The new WILD CARDS book is almost done (some great stuff in there too) and should be finished by the end of the year. Gardner Dozois, Daniel Abraham, and I finished the novel-length expansion of SHADOW TWIN, and sold it in both the US and the UK (just last week, in fact). I’ve inked a couple of exciting new subrights deals that I expect to be announcing very soon (watch my news page)… and we may be close to a couple of other subrights deals that I won’t be announcing, because I am not allowed to talk about ’em yet. The comic book adaption of THE SWORN SWORD is finally underway, and several other cool comics projects are in the works, but I can’t talk about them just yet either. The month has been a blur of work, in other works.

Bad news. Work. None of the projects I wrapped up was A DANCE WITH DRAGONS. Work has been going well, yes, but not especially on DANCE. I am not going to be able to finish it by the end of the year as I had hoped. I know this will disappoint all of you. Many of you will write me sympathetic and supportive emails (and I do appreciate those, even if I don’t have the time to reply). A few of you will write me nasty, intemperate emails about how I’m doing this all just to screw my readers. Sigh. My editors, agents, and publishers will be even more disappointed than my readers, but no one will be as disappointed as me. Believe that or not. All I can say is that I HAVE gotten several other obligations off my plate, that my contractor swears in blood that the home renovations will be finished soon so I can have my office back again, that I’m working on DANCE and I will continue to work on it. What I will no longer due, however, is announce any more dates by which I hope to finish and deliver the book. All that those estimates ever seem to do is ratchet up my stress levels and get me more grief. I hope it won’t be taking much longer… I have almost two months at home before my next scheduled trip, to Boston and NYC in February, and one thing that has become very clear to me is that the more I travel, the less I get written. (And speaking of Boston and NYC, do I perchance have any fans out there in New Haven, Connecticut?) I have even thought about cancelling my annual trip to Boston and New York, though I am reluctant to take that step, since that is usually the only time of the year that I get to see my family in New Jersey.

So that’s the latest. What can I say?

Only this.

Go Jets. Go Giants. Go Dragons.

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Kid Coach Makes Good

November 12, 2006 at 3:14 pm
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Great win for the Jets today in the mud and rain of Foxboro. The Kid Coach defeats his cold-hearted former mentor, the vile and dishonorable Darth Belicek, in only his second try.

J – E – T – S. JETS JETS JETS!!!

(The Pats will still win the division, most likely, but the Jets are a lot better than anyone had a right to expect when the season opened, and Mangini definitely has the team moving in the right direction.)

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About Face

November 8, 2006 at 11:07 pm
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Well, this is interesting.

Out of the blue, I have received an email from PayPal informing me that they have reconsidered my case and unlocked my account. (Yes, it’s true. I went in right away and got my forty bucks).

My emails to them produced no results, my phone call only frustration, but suddenly PayPal thinks I’m cool again. What’s happened here, I wonder? I have not sent them any of the proofs of identity they wanted, the passports and birth certificates and such. I have not made any further appeals, not written any more emails, not made any more phone calls. All I did was post here.

The only thing I can think is that YOU happened. All of you reading this, and especially those who wrote or called or withdrew your funds or closed your accounts or made your voice heard somehow. There’s no other explanation that I can see. This is a testament to the power of the blogosphere, I think.

Viva Live Journal.

Thanks. You guys are great, and I am humbled and astonished.

(Oh, and a lot of you made your voices heard in the nation’s ballot boxes yesterday as well. Thanks for that too.)

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PayPal Thinks I’m a Terrorist

November 5, 2006 at 11:02 pm
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This has nothing to do with my books, or indeed any of the subjects that most of you guys are interesting in hearing about, but I feel a need to vent.

About a month ago, I discovered to my puzzlement and annoyance that my account at PayPal had been locked. I had no idea why. I’ve had a PayPal account for years, and never had a problem. In all that time, I was only involved in one dispute, and that was a case where I was the one filing the complaint. Besides, that was three years ago, at least. I use PayPal mainly for buying toy knights on ebay (these days, many sellers will accept only PayPal, money orders, or cashier’s checks, and the latter two are just too much trouble), and for collecting payment when readers buy signed copies of my old books off my website. It’s a convenient service, well worth the fees, and I’ve never had a problem with it.

Till now.

This turned out to be a big problem, though. My account was locked, with no explanation. I can’t get into it, can’t use it to pay, can’t accept payments, can’t access the money I have in the account. Why? I emailed PayPal’s “Account Review Department,” as instructed, to find out what had happened and get the account unlocked. My first two emails went unanswered. The third time proved to be the charm, and finally got me a reply. It said, in part:

“PayPal is a regulated financial services company required under law to
assess its customers against certain lists of individuals and entities
which have had sanctions imposed against them. Where a potential match is
identified, PayPal’s policy is to lock the account and request further
identifying documentation. The decision to lock your account has been taken
solely by PayPal in line with its compliance policy.”

This made no bloody sense to me, so I decided to phone PayPal and try and talk to an actual human being. That’s not easy either, in this world we live in. I found the number, phoned, negotiated the usual infuriating Voice Mail maze of “press 1 for this, press 2 for that,” and finally reached a customer “service” representative. She, of course, was no help whatsoever. She looked up my account and told me the same stuff that was in the email I’d received. In fact, I think she was reading from the email. When I asked her questions, she had no answers. So finally I asked to speak to a supervisor.

He, at least, gave me some meaningful information. Despite the hokeydoke in the letter about “the decision… has been taken solely by PayPal,” the source of my trouble is actually the federal government. The reason my account was locked was because my name has turned up on a list out of the U.S. Treasury Department. Specifically, something called the “Office of Foreign Assets Control.”

Why the hell I would be on this list, I have no idea. I have no “foreign assets” that I know of, aside from a long-moribund bank account in Poland from the days before the Berlin Wall went down, when the Poles could only pay you in soft zlotys that you had to go to Poland to spend. Or maybe it’s because I have used PayPal to pay for toy soldiers from sellers in Germany, Australia, and the UK, or to accept payment for books from a dozen different foreign countries. Or… if you will allow me a moment of paranoia here… maybe someone in the Treasury Department didn’t like some of the political views I’ve posted here, or my opinions about the TSA and the War on Terror.

Whatever the reason, I’m on the OFAC list, and unlike Santa’s list, this one is just for the naughty, so PayPal has locked the accounts of everyone whose name appears there.

The most infuriating thing of all is that I have MONEY in that PayPal account. Money which PayPal flatly refuses to disburse to me.

“Can I close the account and withdraw my funds?” I asked them. “No,” the supervisor said, “the account is locked.” I accused him of stealing my funds, which he denied. They’re still my funds, he insisted. It’s just that they won’t let me withdraw them, or use them to pay anyone, because, after all, the account is “locked.” (How much you want to bet that after some period of “inactivity,” they will start taking fees out of the account?) I did luck out in one respect, I suppose. At the moment, there’s only about fifty bucks in that PayPal account. That hasn’t always been the case. There have been times in the past when I’ve had as much as thousand bucks floating in my PayPal account. Believe me, if you think I’m honked off now, imagine how pissed I’d be if they were robbing me of a thousand bucks instead of fifty.

How do unlock the account? All I have to do is furnish PayPal with several different proofs of my identity. They already have a credit card number and a bank account number, mind you, but that’s not sufficient, now they want copies of my passport, my birth certificate, and a utility bill.

A service like PayPal is supposed to make my life easier, to enable me to buy and sell with a click of my mouse, to spare me annoying trips to the bank to buy money orders and cashier’s checks, to allow me to receive small payments from readers abroad who want signed copies of my books. CONVENIENCE is the reason I use PayPal. I don’t have the time, the energy, or the inclination to jump through their hoops.

Right now I’m trying to finish A DANCE WITH DRAGONS, working on a breakdown of the contents and art required for THE WORLD OF ICE AND FIRE, editing the new Wild Cards book INSIDE STRAIGHT and writing my own story for same, beating out an outline for a comics project with John J. Miller, trying to stay on top of the various Ice & Fire spinoffs from Subterranean Press, Fantasy Flight Games, Testor’s, DBPro, Avatar Comics, and several other licenses, dealing with the aftermath of the Byron Preiss bankruptcy auction, trying to extricate my RPG rights from the collapse of Guardians of Order, living through major home renovations. I do NOT have the time to take on PayPal and the U.S. Treasury as well.

So there you go. For the foreseeable future, my PayPal account will remain locked, I’m afraid. If you want to buy a signed book, you’ll need to mail me a check or money order. And I guess I won’t be bidding on nearly as many knights on ebay, since so many sellers “prefer PayPal.”

If any of you are PayPal users, however, and are accustomed to allowing a significant amount of money to sit around in your account… take it out. Take it out NOW. Your name could turn up on a list as easily as mine did, and then, like me, you’ll find yourself cut off from your money with no right of appeal.

I say it’s spinach, and I say to hell with it.

End of rant.

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Home for the Holidays

October 17, 2006 at 4:32 pm
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My last major trip of the year finally came to close yesterday, when Parris and I flew home from New York City. I’d spent almost a month on the road, partly for pleasure, partly for business, doing signings in five midwestern cities to help promote my YA book, THE ICE DRAGON, and the paperback release of A FEAST FOR CROWS.

Started out by flying into Chicago, where I attended the Old Toy Soldier Show in Schaumburg (the world’s best toy soldier show, and always great fun, when I can find the time to attend it) and spent way too much money on toy knights, picking up some beautiful old Courtenay, Ping, and Vertunni figures (if you don’t know what those are, you obviously haven’t been reading the Knights page of my website), some beautiful new miniatures by Brian Rodden, a great new siege tower from King & Country, and various other choice collectibles. I also signed and read at the Border’s down in Water Tower Place on the Magnificent Mile, and enjoyed dinner at the Greek Isles with some of the local members of the Brotherhood Without Banners. I never miss a chance to eat at the Greek Isles. Opaa! Opaa! (That’s Greek for “the cheese is on fire!”)

After the toy soldier show, it was off to Dubuque, Iowa for another ICE DRAGON signing and a couple of days visiting my old haunts. The original story that was the basis of the YA was written in Dubuque during the winter of 1978-79, so it seemed only proper to include the city on my tour. Given my feelings about the TSA and airport “security,” I decided to get a rental car and drive to the rest of my midwestern appearances. Not much slower than flying, given how short most of the hops were, and far more pleasant. The car had GPS and I had my ipod, so the short drive to Iowa was fast and fun. I had a nice signing at a small independent bookstore, the River Lights, and also had the time to poke around the city. It was the first time I had returned to Dubuque since moving away in 1979, and all in all the city had not changed nearly as much as I feared. My old house was still standing, as was the college (Clarke) where I once taught journalism, and the old Julien Hotel where my ex-wife and I once held Dubuqon, the city’s first (and last) SF convention. The pizza at Marco’s is still pretty good (for the midwest), and the Fenelon Place Elevator was still there, though now it only runs in summer. On the other hand, all the old movie theaters are gone, and there’s now an ugly four-lane highway cutting off downtown from the Mississippi, not to mention a huge and hideous fake “riverboat” casino. I did like the new river museum, however. Across the river, East Dubuque remains as sleazy as ever, but the chili at Mulgrew’s was not nearly as hot as I remembered… which may have more to do with me living in New Mexico for the last couple of decades than with the recipe.

After three days in Iowa, it was off to Indianapolis and a signing at Barnes and Noble in Carmel. I did not want to have to contend with Chicago traffic again, so I headed south out of Dubuque and followed the river road down to I-74. That had to be the nicest drive of the trip. Autumn was just coming in, the days were warm and sunny, the trees were turning, and the little river towns along the banks of the Mississippi remained unchanged from the last time I passed this way, twenty-odd years ago. I had another good event in Indianapolis, reading from THE ICE DRAGON and signing a lot of books. My hotel was right across the street from the Hoosier Dome, and when I realized that the Colts were playing my Jets that very Sunday I had a brief moment of excitement, thinking I might be able to snag a ticket and see Chad take on Peyton… but alas, the game was being played in New Jersey, at the Meadowlands. I did, however, ride up to Auburn, Indiana with my friend C.D. Doyle to check out the Auburn/ Cord/ Duesenberg Museum there, which proved to be well worth the trip. Room after room after room of gorgeous vintage automobiles, each more impressive than the last. Most of them were Auburns, Cords, and Dueseys, of course, but they also have a ’55 T-bird, a Jaguar XKE, a gullwing Mercedes 300SL, a Shelby Cobra, a classic Ferrari, and a lot of other vehicles that made me drool. If you ever find yourself driving down the interstate past Auburn, take the time to pull off and have a look at the musuem, it’s well worth it. As for me, I think I want my next car to be a Cord.

After Indy, it was on to Cincinnati, where I did a reading and a signing at Joseph Beth. The good folks at Joe Beth always get a big turnout for their events, and this one was no exception. I spent a couple of extra days in Cincinnati, long enough to spend some time with Denise and Steve Leigh, catch the first day of the Tall Stacks riverboat festival (real boats, not tawdry jokes like the “riverboat” casinos you see permanently moored all up and down the river, most of them no more than concrete barges, lacking even an engine) and take a cruise, enjoy some ribs in Montgomery, visit with Bob Hornung and with Tom and Carin Meier, and see the latest batch of Night’s Watch figures that Tom is sculpting for the miniatures game forthcoming from Testor’s. Spectacular work, as always. Tom also has a terrific 54mm version of Loras Tyrell in the works.

Then it was back west again, to Archon in St. Louis… well, Collinsville, Illinois, actually, but close enough. I was Archon’s very first GOH back in 1977, and this year was the 30th Archon, so I had to be there. It has grown into quite a large con over the past thirty years, from 300 people in 1977 to about 2700 this year, and these days the con draws more costumers and gamers than it does readers, but the parties are always fun, and the St. Louis fans have always gone the extra mile to welcome guests and take good care of them. Unfortunately, the mood at the con turned somber on Friday when the word reached Collinsville that Wilson (Bob) Tucker had died. Tucker lived most of life in the area and had been a huge part of many of the past Archons, leading endless “smoooothes” and welcoming hundreds of newcomers to fandom. There was never a more friendly or accessible pro, or one more beloved in midwestern fandom, so his loss was deeply felt. Nor was Tucker the only ghost roaming the halls of the Holiday Inn this year. I also missed Dan Patterson, a good friend and talented artist who was a fixture at Archon until his death, and always threw the best party at the convention. We’ve lost too many good people of late, sad to say.

I did have a good signing, I’m pleased to say. Some of you may have heard the story of what happened at my last bookstore event in St. Louis back in 1996, during the GAME OF THRONES tour, when I was scheduled to sign in downtown St. Louis while Ray Bradbury and Ray Harryhausen were signing in Collinsville, thirty minutes away. That one did not work out well, but I did much better this time in Brentwood… maybe because I wasn’t up against the Two Rays.

Parris was supposed to join me at Archon, flying in on Friday from New Mexico, but she sprained her ankle packing for the trip and postponed her departure a day… and then, on Saturday, she got a flat tire on the way to airport and missed her flight, so it was Sunday before she finally reached St. Louis, and by the time she reached the hotel the con was over and there was nothing for her to do but grab a burger and some shoestring fries at Steak ‘N Shake, crash, and fly out with me the next morning for New York City and the Quill Awards.

Having already lost the Hugo Award and the British Fantasy Award, A FEAST FOR CROWS made it three-for-three by losing the Quill. This time I was beaten by Diana Gabaldon and A BREATH OF SNOW AND ASHES. Ms. Gabaldon was gracious enough to say that FEAST should have won when she got up to accept her award, which was very kind of her. Despite losing, it was a swell evening. The event was black tie, held in the American Museum of Natural History, beneath a stupendous full-size blue whale, and Lewis Black opened the festivities that telling us all that we should enjoy the dinner before the awards, since most of us would be losers before the evening was out. (A man after my own heart, Lewis Black). Also, Parris looked especially gorgeous in her new dress. MSNBC will be telecasting an edited version of the awards later this month, which may or may not include a shot or two of me.

The rest of our stay in NYC was great as well. I got to eat real pizza several times, saw my agents and caught up, and had some very productive meetings with editors from Bantam, Tor/ Starscape, DC Comics, Marvel Comics, Random House Comics. I did a drop-by signing at both of the Fifth Avenue B&Ns (if anyone there in the Apple is looking for a signed book, those two stores have plenty), saw my family in Jersey, and on Sunday, thanks to my brother-in-law Gerard, Parris and I got to attend the Jets game at the Meadowlands and chant J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS along with Fireman Ed as Chad tossed a couple of touchdown strikes to Laverneous and defeated the Dolphins (the defense did almost give the game away at the end, but never mind).

So… it was a long trip, but a good one. I covered a lot of miles, had a lot of fun, signed a lot of books, but I’m glad to be home. I’ve done an awful lot of travel since A FEAST FOR CROWS came out, and while I have enjoyed it, it does wear me out as well, and I have always found it impossible to get any writing down while on the road. There’s nothing else on my schedule until February, however, so for the rest of the year I will be right here, shackled to the computer and pounding the keys. I have half a dozen different projects on my plate, but the big one is A DANCE WITH DRAGONS, and I am going to be pushing hard on that in the weeks and months to come, in hopes of wrapping it up by the end of the year.

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