And here’s the latest cool thing from HBO: their “Win the Throne” sweepstakes.

http://www.winthethronesweeps.com/

No, you don’t actually get to win the Iron Throne (cool as that would be). The grand prize winner does get $10,000, however. Which is probably enough to commission a local ironworker to make you your own Iron Throne, if that’s what you want.

There are also all sorts of lesser prizes for the runners-up, in the form of GAME OF THRONES swag.

Sorry, the contest is only open to US residents.

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… well, sort of.

The HBO series of GAME OF THRONES does not debut for another two weeks. April 17 is the big day.

But tonight those of you who have HBO will get a taste — a special preview, the first fifteen minutes of episode one.

Be sure to give a watch.

And if you don’t have HBO… well, hey, you’ve got two weeks to add it to your cable or satellite package. (Those of you in the US, anyway. Other countries have other arrangements for airing the series, each one different).

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Yes, of course it was an April’s Fool post. I always do an April Fool’s post.

Yes, of course it was evil. Froggy the Gremlin is always evil. “I’ll be good, I will, I will,” he always tells Andy. But he never is.

Now go put the spaghetti in your hair, and rub it in good.

I’m off to plunk my magic twanger.

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This one is for my readers in the Bay Area.

((Uh… that would be San Francisco Bay. There are others. As a Bayonne boy, I grew up between two bays. But never mind)).

Hie thee to Wondercon. There are wonders there, at the HBO booth

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… about ME!!!

Hey, I’ve made the NEW YORK TIMES.

http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/04/01/his-beautiful-dark-twisted-fantasy-george-r-r-martin-talks-game-of-thrones/?src=tptw

Pretty cool.

Once, fresh out of college, I failed to get hired by the BAYONNE TIMES. Now I’ve made it clear across the harbor to the big city.

((FWIW, the BAYONNE TIMES went out of business a month after failing to hire me. Never underestimate my sinister powers, mmwhahahahah.))

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Kong and I are still dancing round the Empire State Building… but meanwhile, some big news from my editors and publishers at Bantam Spectra. In view of the ever-increasing size of A DANCE WITH DRAGONS, they have scrapped their original plans for one single massive hardcover tome, and instead announced that they will divide the novel into five smaller books.

“We warned George that A STORM OF SWORDS was as long a book as we could possibly publish in one volume, and now he’s gone ahead and made this one a hundred pages longer,” a Bantam spokesman said. “Worse, the thing’s still growing! Besides, we have all these different covers we’ve designed and paid for over the years, we might as well get some use out of them.”

Rather than simply divide the text into five segments, Bantam has decided to follow the precedent established with A FEAST FOR CROWS and “unbraid” the novel, publishing each character’s adventures as a separate volume.

The five parts of DANCE will each be released with a subtitle, as follows:
A DANCE WITH DRAGONS: DAENERYS
A DANCE WITH DRAGONS: JON SNOW
A DANCE WITH DRAGONS: TYRION
A DANCE WITH DRAGONS: ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE
A DANCE WITH DRAGONS: THE MEEREENESE KNOT

“If this format proves to be as popular as we think it will be,” the Bantam spokesman said, “we will go back and re-release all the older books as individual ‘character volumes’ as well. Each of Martin’s books is really seven or eight novels woven together, so there’s no reason why they shouldn’t be published individually, to give each character his moment in the sun. This will allow each reader to follow his favorite characters, and ignore the ones he finds tedious, whiny, or annoying.”

ure

Bantam is also making a study of the feasibility of publishing subsequent volumes of Martin’s series as individual single-volume chapbooks, to be released at the rate of one chapter a month. “It worked wonderfully for Stephen King with THE GREEN MILE,” said the Bantam spokesman. “Even GRRM should be able to write a chapter a month, and if we get them into print as quickly as he writes them, maybe that will stop him from going back and rewriting them so damned much. Serial publication was good enough for Charles Dickens, it should be good enough for Martin, and will get all those impatient Ice & Fire fans off our backs.”

The first installment of A DANCE WITH DRAGONS will still be published on July 12. It will be either the Daenerys segment or the Jon Snow, Bantam says.

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Just a puzzle, for them as like those things.

To keep the doctor away, Jean Marais.

David Letterman.

To keep the doctor away, Robbie Benson.

Id, id, id.

To keep the doctor away, Ron Perlman.

No black monoliths, not here.

I know lots of you will have your own favorites.

Tomorrow morning, with trumpets.

NOT a casting. NOT about the DANCE. NOT about the show.

Just a bit of geeky fun.

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John Picacio has now completed all twelve paintings for the offical 2012 Ice & Fire calendar.

I can’t show them to you, of course, that would spoil all the fun. I can tell you that the twelve months will show Ned (as seen here, on the cover), Arya, the Kingslayer, Sansa and the Hound, Melisandre, Bran, Daenerys, Jon Snow and Ghost, Robb the Young Wolf, Tyrion at the Battle of the Blackwater, the Mountain v. the Viper, and the Others.

I think you’re going like it, kids.

The 2012 calendar will go on sale at the San Diego Comicon in July. John Picacio will be on hand to sign your calendars, and it’s possible I may be there as well. Watch my Appearances page for more details on that. For those of you who can’t make San Diego, the calendar is available for preorder on Amazon (although those copies won’t be signed, obviously), and should be turning up at your favorite local bookstore by August.

Meanwhile, Marc Simonetti is already hard at work on the 2013 calendar.

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I’ve been too busy working on these last few chapters of DANCE to follow the progress of this season’s Suvudu cage matches much. Jon Snow won his opening round, the one I blogged about a few weeks back, and then defeated Beowulf (!) in the next round. I believe he came out on top of a few more contests after that as well.

We’re now up to the… quarter finals? semi finals? quasi-finals? Something like that. But this time around Jon seems to be losing badly to another damned magic user.

If any of you guys want to strike a blow for truth, justice, and the Night’s Watch, you can cast your vote at

http://sf-fantasy.suvudu.com/2011/03/cage-match-2011-jon-snow-versus-vin.html

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A reader named Christian Johannesen has pointed out that in my announcement of the publication date of A DANCE WITH DRAGONS, I wrote: “Barring tsunamis, general strikes, world wars, or asteroid strikes, you will have the novel in your hands on July 12.”

Christian goes on to say:

“March 11, 2011: Big Tsunami – Ohh No! I hope release date hasn’t gotten pushed back again!!!!!!!……

“March 11, 2011 NFL CBA talks break down. Seems like a general strike in the NFL is eminent.

“March 19, 2011 On top of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan the US along with 20 other countries attack Libyan forces loyal to Gadhafi. World War?

Please remove the asteroid strikes from your update before you become quadrupley prophetic. I’m too young to die.”

To which I can only reply:

(1) I am writing as fast as I can. Finished a Meereen chapter yesterday, hope to finish another one today, and

(2) WATCH THE SKIES!

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